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She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.

tare you kidding me? i spent so much money on you, tier 3 every month and you’re not even going to be on Twitch anymore? this is unjust! not to mention the countless channel points ive collected to redeem on POKI stickers and maybe even more! ResidentSleeper, L streamer.

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!

I’m here all weekend - come on ya fuckin punk ass swimmer 🙄 I’ll be waiting on ya - I’ll be waiting on your punk ass - wait matter of fact give me your address I’ll come to wherever you are and give you a chance to make good on your promises since I know you won’t actually come here me Navy SEAL lol what BUDS class were you in bitch? See you’re talking to an Army Ranger - RSC 13-2 - I’ve ACTUALLY been on clandestine missions - I’ve ACTUALLY been in gunfights - and on the 1% chance that you’re ACTUALLY a buds graduate I’ll tell you RQRF in the korangal - we were saving baby seals on a daily basis because they have no fucking idea what to do when bullets start flying the other direction - so no - I’m not worried about you - the USMC is still using gulf war hand me downs so you’re saying your equipment is dated and sporting extensive wear and tear? Annnndddd no need to involve your top secret lies I mean spies whoops - cuzzzzz I just told you and the internet where I live - you can come here or give me your address and I’ll come there - either way 😊 EDIT: Here was his response to being told it was a copypasta, for your viewing pleasure. I don’t know what copypasta means - I don’t know what doxxed yourself means - does not knowing these definitions make me a dumbass moron? What’s your address and I’ll come show you what a real SOF guy is capable of - you threaten my life you little stolen valor fuck brick? Navy SEAL give me a goddamn break you fucking retard - if you grow a set and decide you wanna tie asses with me just come knock on my door - I didn’t do a fucking thing to you people but share a video of a cat - period - if you wanna threaten my life over that be prepared for the consequences - I’m not on here looking for trouble if I was then why would I post a video of a cat on a cat video sub? God almighty and I only posted it here because my woman told me to - I’d never heard of this sub - had I known making a cute pun including the cats name would yield such backlash from faggot ass frenchy stolen valor pukes and broke dick hadji wan kenobis id have just not posted it - I thought the members of this sub would enjoy this video - so I shared it - you wanna use it as a platform to threaten my life and wellbeing? I will crush your fucking windpipe you little coward - so either roll up or tell me where I’m rolling to or you just prove you’re a coward that’s all talk

My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.