[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Geepsy from Romania dreams to play Cardstone

twitchquotes: Ｉ ａｍ Ｇｅｅｐｓｙ ｆｒｏｍ Ｒｏｍａｎｉａ． Ａｌｌ ｏｆ ｍｙ ｌｉｆｅ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｄｒｅａｍｅｄ ｔｏ ｐｌａｙ ａｇａｉｎｓｔ ｔｏｐ ｐｌａｙｅｒｓ ｌｉｋｅ Ｄｅｎｎｉｓ ａｎｄ ｒａｙ ｎａｄｓ ｉｎ Ｃａｒｄｓｔｏｎｅ． Ｍｙ ｇｉｒｌｆｒｉｅｎｄ Ａｌｅｘｔｒａｓｚａ ｓｏｌｄ ｏｕｒ ｆａｒｍ ｔｏ ａｃｈｉｅｖｅ ｍｙ ｄｒｅａｍ． Ｗｉｓｈ ｍｅ ｌｕｃｋ ａｔ Ｄｒｅａｍｈａｃｋ！
twitch chat
April 2014
PGL

LEC aka Legendary Elite Conference

twitchquotes: LEC - aka “Legendary Elite Conference,” is a League for Riot Games that is often acclaimed for its limitless pool of talent and innovative gameplay. It is specifically known for embarrassing a certain minor region in the fastest MSI Finals ever.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021

Become one with the awkward

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｒｅｙｎａｄ ｄａｒｅ， ｍｙ ｐａｌｍ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｆａｃｅ． Ｉ ｂｅｃｏｍｅ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ａｗｋｗａｒｄ， ａｎｄ ｃｒｉｎｇｅ． Ｐｌｓ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ．
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing