[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
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June 2017
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The Story of Kanye West

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest. He then puts on some axe for some Kanye zest and goes to the bar puffing out his Kanye chest. Gets drunk into a Kanye mess and goes home to the the Kanye West part of town. He realized his life was a wreck, and was feeling a little Kanye depressed. “My life sucks he Kanye digressed. He decided to get some Italian to he flew to Kanye Trieste. He got some pasta and started to Kanye digest. You should get some Kanye rest his wife Kanye pressed. Instead he went to a Kanye fest. He then realized he needed to go to Dallas for his competition, so he went to the airport and hopped on Kanye southwest, got some Kanye rest, and the next morning was feeling ready for his Kanye contest. Or at least he Kanye guessed. On the day of the competition he was feeling a little Kanye stressed. But in the end the judges were Kanye impressed. For his performance he was awarded with the Kanye chest, clearly identified with the Kanye crest. There ends the story of Kanye West.
April 2021

Kanye West

Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum?

Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum guys? My parents stumbled on this sub the other day and now I'm not even allowed to access Reddit anymore because of the sex talk they saw in here. This is not a peepee, poopoo and vajayjay fun house. We are not heathens whose only role in life is to fornicate and laugh about fornication and then ejaculate that nonsense, spurting and spewing this so called "humor" on each other like animals. This is a place of worship. Meme worship. God is not pleased with you all. Repent.
January 2021

Play a pirate rogue or we will be forced stir up a great mutiny!

twitchquotes: ╰[✖Ĺ̯ಠ]╯Ahoy, matey! Play a pirate rogue or we will be forced stir up a great mutiny!╰[✖Ĺ̯ಠ]╯
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March 2015
Reynad

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021

Dickbird with Dickhead and Dicks on his Back

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⢉⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⠛⠛⣤⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⡰⣕⣗⣷⣧⣀⣅⠘⠛⠄⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣳⣟⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⣜⠄⣿⣤⣤⣤⠛⠛⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣬⣭⠻⢷⣿⣿⣿⣀⡿⣝⠖⠄⣿⣿⠛⣤⣿⠛⠛⣤⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣒⠲⠶⢿⣿⢷⣯⢿⢷⡫⣗⠍⢰⣿⠛⣤⣿⠛⠘⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢄⠤⣁⠋⠿⣗⣟⡯⡏⢎⠁⢸⠄⣿⠛⠛⣤⣿⣤⣤⣤⠛⠛⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢔⢕⣯⣿⣿⡲⡤⡄⡤⠄⡀⢠⡀⡀⣤⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⣤⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿ ⣿⡿⢉⣴⣶⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣷⡌⢿⠛⣤⠄⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⢸⣿ ⣿⣷⡘⠿⠟⣛⡁⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⠻⣿⢮⣭⣥⣄⡹⣤⣤⣤⠛⠛⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣟⡶⠶⢾⣭⣽⣗⡈⠻⠛⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣧⣌⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⡲⣶⣶⣾⣷⣌⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠗⡈⠻⣿⣿⡿⢛⣶⣤⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠆⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿⠗⣢⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⢼⣿⣷⣶⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣠⠄⣠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣌⠛⠿⠛⠈⠛⠿⠿⠿⢛⠁⢈⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡈⢉⣩⡭⠽⢛⣒⣒⣒⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣉⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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September 2021

NSFW

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