[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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If Apple opens super green tomorrow

If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Halloween Mercy

twitchquotes: 😍Guys😍, I’m 😲shaking😲. I’m fucking😲 shaking😲. I never wanted to 👉👌🍆🍑breed 🍑🍆👉👌with anyone more than I want to with 🎃👻Halloween 👻✝️Mercy.✝️🎃️ That 💯perfect,💯 ⏳curvy ⏳😍body.😍 Those 😍bountiful😍 🍈breasts🍈. The 👪child 👪bearing😍 hips😍 of a 🖼️💐literal goddess💐🖼️. It honestly fucking 😳😳hurts😳😳 knowing that I’ll never❤👅💋mate ❤👅💋with her, ⬆pass⬆ my 👖genes👖 through her, and have her 👑birth👑 a set of 👪💯perfect offspring.💯👪 I’d do fucking💰💰💰 ANYTHING 💰💰
twitch chat
June 2017

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

Tired of getting Sniped?

twitchquotes: Tired of getting Sniped? No problem! Here at Sniper Deflectors™ we can shield your Arena Queue from incoming Snipers with our new patent-pending SniperShield™ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming sniper shots right back to the sniper-guild recruiter (definitely not DRIVEZY), causing them to effectively Snipe themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Every E-Sport needs their clown

twitchquotes: Every E-Sport needs their clown. We are privileged to have someone like Kripp in the Hearthstone community.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

I sexually Identify as

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