[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: โ€œIโ€™m proud of you.โ€ Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

League of Legends

Now that all the girls stop reading this...

twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS

twitchquotes: ALO ALO ๐Ÿ“ž ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS ๐Ÿ“ž ZULUL NEED BACKUP ๐Ÿ“ž ZULUL VI VON ๐Ÿ“ž ZULUL
twitch chat
July 2019

OVERCLOWNFIDENCE

twitchquotes: ( อ ยฐ อŸ๐Ÿ”ด อกยฐ) OVERCLOWNFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND HILARIOUS KILLER ( อ ยฐ อŸ๐Ÿ”ด อกยฐ)
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

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