[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat. This chat is pure, adulterated, 100% intelligence. Everybody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that are really good. THIS is why I'm turning off the professional gameplay and will just watch the chat. And I swear to god, if any of you don't copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
December 2016

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youโ€™re going to be in a great mood all day, because youโ€™re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereโ€™s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donโ€™t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatโ€™s why you donโ€™t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. Youโ€™re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youโ€™re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youโ€™re going to have an exciting life now. Look hereโ€™s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youโ€™re going to love this. You donโ€™t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. Youโ€™re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnโ€™t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

What Is This + Ratio

what is this + L + ratio + wrong + get a job + unfunny + you fell off + never liked you anyway + cope + ur allergic to gluten + don't care + cringe ur a kid + literally shut the fuck up + galileo did it better + your avi was made in MS Excel + ur bf is kinda ugly + i have more subscribers + owned + ur a toddler + reverse double take back + u sleep in a different bedroom from your wife + get rekt + i said it better + u smell + copy + who asked + dead game + seethe + ur a coward + stay mad + you main yuumi + aired + you drive a fiat 500 + the hood watches xqc now + yo mama + ok + currently listening to rizzle kicks without u. plus ur mind numbingly stupid plus ur voice is ronald mcdonald.
May 2022

Ratio

Imaqtpie submits his Pocket Pick

twitchquotes: Hi Mr Santana. Marc Merrill here. Your recent submission to our 'Pocket Pick' video series left us scratching our chins. Whilst we agree that pepperoni has a nice "twang", the video was supposed to be about your favorite champion, NOT your favorite Hot Pocket. We would appreciate it if you could remake the video, thanks.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ***SQUID GAME REFERENCE***??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ HOLY FUCKING SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING SQUID GAME REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ SQUID GAME IS THE BEST FUCKING SHOW ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ GI-HUN IS SO HOTTTTT ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต COME PLAY DDJAKI WITH ME ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ YOU CAN PAY WITH YOUR BODY ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ MUGUNGHWA KKOCI PIEOT SEUMNIDA ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜  Whatโ€™s the gameโ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the gameโ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Oh no you failed the game!๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ Player 69420 eliminated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ r/squidgamememes r/unexpectedsquidgame r/expectedsquidgame perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ โบ๐Ÿ”ผโนโบ๐Ÿ”ผโนโบ๐Ÿ”ผโน ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing