[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

I cam I saw I came I saw

twitchquotes: I came πŸƒ I saw πŸ‘€ I came πŸƒ I saw πŸ‘€ I praise πŸ™ the Lord πŸ˜‡ then break πŸ’₯ the law πŸ‘©β€βš–οΈ I take πŸ–οΈ what's mine πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ then take πŸ–οΈ some more 😌 It rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆ it rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆
twitch chat
August 2018

ARAM, aka "Americans Running Around Mid"

twitchquotes: ARAM, aka "Americans Running Around Mid," is a strategy employed by many LCS teams in order to tilt their opponents. However, its successfulness is questionable, especially since it made TL lose the fastest ever international Bo5.
twitch chat
August 2019

League of Legends

xQc is bad at RP

twitchquotes: i've been watching xQc since pog champs 3 but after watching this disgusting attempt at "RP" i cannot support this streamer anymore, i am unfollowing and sending clips to NoPixel Staff Immediately
twitch chat
February 2021
xQcOW

HBox’s tag actually has a secret meaning

twitchquotes: fun fact: HBox’s tag actually has a secret meaning. the Box is for his name, Boxuel. the H stands for β€œHjelte” since he plays with the heart of William Peter "Leffen" Hjelte every tourney
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

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