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Anyways, um... I bought a whole bunch of shungite rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is? No, not Suge Knight, I think he's locked up in prison. I'm talkin' shungite. Anyways, it's a two billion year-old like, rock stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of stuff. Put 'em around the la casa. Little pyramids, stuff like that.

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~

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Time is tickling ⏰⏰ SEND 💌📲 this 🤳 to TEN (🔟) FESTIVE FREAKS 🎅🏿👯‍♀️🕺 if u get 🔟 BACK your a 🤤😏 STUFFED STOCKING SLORE 😍🧦🎁💝😻👀😳 get 5️⃣ BACK and ur a 😈🐎😈 Horny Xmas Ham 🙈🐷🤪🪵🔥😉😏 but if u get 0️⃣ back 😵 u got a 🔥 DRY C🅾️AL CUNT 🧆🌵😰😭😱🥲🍑

🤠🎄 GIDDY UP 🐴🐎👋 JINGLE WHORE!!! 👯‍♂️🍆🔥🍑👅❄️👋😹🎁 SEXMAS 🎄☃️❄️🎅🛷🎁💚❤️ is here 🤩 and U’ve sure been N A U G T H Y…!! 😈🤭🤤😏😍😜 All year 📅 Santa 🎅😍 has been watching 👁️ u FAP 👊💦😩 and tonite 🌚✨ he’s cumming 👣🦌🛷 to give u his 😳🎁 BIG PACKAGE!!!! 🎁🍆🤤 To get gingerBRED 🍪🍑👈 just 🍬🍭👅 POP💥🤸 that Peppermint Pussy 🍭🌭🍬🎇 n wait under the mistleHOE 🌿🎋😘🍒😱 with a nice cup of hot COCKolate ☕️🍆🔥 Jolly Old 🎅 Saint DICK 🙏😌😍 will shove 👊 his 🍆💦🟢 Jingle Balls 🔴🎄🤤💦 right down ⬇️⏬🔽 ur 😣 TiGHT lil CHIMNEY! 🍑😫🤤🏠 U better watch out… 👀🙇 hes 🎅 gonna make u cry 😱😏😩🍆💦😜💦

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.