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I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Avoid embarrasing incidents
twitchquotes:
Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. 
twitch chat
Classic
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
You've been gnomed
VAPE TEST
twitchquotes:
VAPE TEST 
()_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_) If the arms touch the vape, you are LIT β 
β
()_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
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_) If the arms touch the vape, you are LIT β β
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
VapeNation
Chat Test
This is the world we have wrought
twitchquotes:
The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: βββ 10 ο½ο½ο½ο½ο½ο½
ο½ο½ο½ο½ ff β EKT βΎ β ΒΈ. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ΰΊΩΝΩΝΰΊΰΊΰΌ½ΰΌ½οΎοΎ HA Κα΄Κα΄ γ½ΰΌΌΰ²’_ β βΰΈ±β)β TUCK F (β‘βΏβ‘βΏ)". This is the world we have wrought.
twitch chat