[Copypasta] Don't ever smoke

twitchquotes: My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your stream gave me cancer anyway.
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

GabeN says James is an ass

twitchquotes: James. We've had issues with James at previous events. Some Valve people lobbied to bring him back for Shanghai, feeling that he deserved another chance. That was a mistake. James is an ass, and we won't be working with him again.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Dota 2

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Math is "mental abuse to humans"

twitchquotes: You know how some people say that math is “mental abuse to humans”? Well, lemme tell you one thing: “Math” is an abbreviation for “mathematics”, so you’re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for “except mostly at truly intelligently cool students”! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, you’re not truly intelligent or cool! You’re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Don’t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat
October 2020

Classic

What is inside that taco? Reynad's tournament wins

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBTacoRight WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull 0 TBCheesePull TBTacoRight OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS LUL
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

Classic

Hearthstone

I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire

twitchquotes: I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire and prophetic indictments of contemporary Twitch chat. Copypasta when I was a younger teenager had the potency to topple Nazi moderatorships and revolutionize new chat epochs. Even the truncation of "copypasta" to "pasta" shows a lack of eloquence that speaks volumes. If, like me, you are a product of those better times and wish to see them return then speak out. Let the memers and Toucans know that real copypasta back.
twitch chat
July 2015

MODS

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing