[Copypasta] Don't ever smoke

twitchquotes: My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your stream gave me cancer anyway.
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Your deck is insane, Trump said

twitchquotes: "Your deck is insane." Trump said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to top-deck me?" protests Kripp, as Trump blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. "Weak tempo play, Trump." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Trump places his Leper Gnome into Kripp's Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Shane Dawson tweet - i didnt fuck my cat

i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. (1/?)
March 2019

Classic

Troll face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘
November 2014

Classic

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Classic

NaM octopus

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ£΅β Ÿβ β „β „β „β „β’€β‘€β „β „β ™β’Ύβ’½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿Ⓒ⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣢⣿⣿⣇⑀⠄⠄⠩⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠭⣿⣿⣿⣯⠭⣄⠄⠄⠄Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘…β „β „β „β „β „β£β£€β‘˜β Ήβ£Ώβ£β£€β£Όβ‘„β ˆβ „β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⑀⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⠃⒨⣏⣻⣿⣿⑇⠄⠄Ⓓ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣢⣦⠄⑄⣿⠛⠄⠠β’₯⠛Ⓙ⣿⑇Ⓖ⣣⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ££β‘Άβ ¬β‘›β ›β ƒβ ™β ‰β „β‘€β£€β£³β£Άβ’˜β‘‘β ΄β£Ύβ£Άβ‘¦β ¬β‘»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⠄⠄⣠⑄⠄⠄⣀⣀③⠢⣢⣦⒀⣿⣿Ⓑ⠃⑀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⠄⠄ β „β „β ˆβ ™β »β’Ύβ’Ώβ£¬β£€β£€β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£―β£·β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ‰β ‰β β „β ˆβ ™β’·β‘„ β „β „β „β „β ˆβ „β „β β ˆβ’‰β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£«β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£·β£Άβ£„β’‚β „β „β „β£Όβ ‡ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£€β£΄β‘Ώβ Ÿβ’«β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ žβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β „β ‰β »β£·β£β ›β ›β ‰β „ β „β „β£€β£€β£ β£ β£Ύβ£Ÿβ£‰β£€β£Άβ‘Ώβ ‹β „β „β ˜β’Ώβ£·β£„β£€β£€β£€β‘€β „β ˜β’Ώβ£†β „β „β „ ⒀⣾⠛⒛⑋⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻Ⓑ⣾⑉⠄⠄⠄ β ˜β’Ώβ£€β‘Ÿβ β „β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘΄β „β β’»β£·β „β „β „ β’β’€β Ÿβ ’β ˜β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’³β£„β£ β‘Ύβ ƒβ „β „β „ β ˆβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β „β „β „β „β „
July 2019

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing