twitchquotes:
✓ Obesity ✓ 💥🔫 ✓ Laziness ✓ Stupidity ✓ 🌵 ✓ McDonald's ✓ Donald Trump ✓ $70k College ✓ Bad healthcare ✓ Bad food ✓ Bad music ✓ Fahrenheit ✓ Pounds ✓ Inches ✓ AMERICAN TEST PASSED
twitch chat
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas
FLIP THAT TABLE
What is inside that taco? Reynad's tournament wins
twitchquotes:
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 
0 OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS 
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 0 OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS
twitch chat
Reynad
Classic
Hearthstone
What could possibly be that washed up?
twitchquotes:
Hey QT, my family just got back from Hawaii. We noticed this obese life form washed up on shore. We walked over to see what could possibly be that washed up. My brother poked it with a stick and it twitched and said "wow that actually fuckin killed me" wonder what it could be?
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes
twitchquotes:
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Tavern Brawl. Now I remember why I fell asl... 
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Hearthstone
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."