[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.

April 2020

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Just taking Reynad for a walk

twitchquotes: ╭( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲_____ PJSalt

Oh, don't mind me, just taking Reynad for a walk.

twitch chat

November 2014

Reynad

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salty

"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?

August 2021

Based

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Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..

twitch chat

December 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Everything points to Amogus

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March 2022

[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

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Classic

Response to "go fuck yourself"

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Just taking Reynad for a walk

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salty

"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?

Based

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Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

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I hate Twitch Chat

Everything points to Amogus

Among Us / Amogus

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