[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

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More Classic Copypastas

I awoke from my coma and muted the stream

twitchquotes: I owe my life to [insert streamer]. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse walked in and changed the Twitch channel to [insert streamer]'s stream. I awoke from my coma and muted [insert streamer].
twitch chat
September 2014

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0-3 Hearthstone Arena Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the 0-3 Police, You're coming with us. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
October 2014

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Hearthstone

Nacho cheese torpedo

twitchquotes: Guys, please don't spam. My daughter made a macaroni dinosaur in school and it passes its days pasted to my laptop screen. When too many messages show up it starts turning into a nacho cheese torpedo. God bless, thanks for understanding.
twitch chat
June 2016

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EU COMING THROUGH v2

twitchquotes: EU COMING THROUGH LUL TRY AND EXTERMINATE A GROUP OF PEOPLE LUL NEEDS AMERICA TO SAVE THEM LUL STILL HAS A ROYAL FAMILY LUL SOCIALISTS LUL NO FREE SPEECH LUL MARRY 16 YEAR OLDS LUL STABBINGS IN EU LUL
twitch chat
March 2019

Classic

EU vs NA

As I type this I have my modded PS2 running a track IP script on your post

You fucked up kid. As I type this I have my modded PS2 running a track IP script on your post. Once I have triangulated your position in the world, my PS3 will release to your router my very own Pandora box virus. You won't notice it at first, but soon your lame PC will begin to work against you in ways you can't even imagine. First your graphics card will start to emit the flu virus, your ram will be uploaded online so everyone will be able to use it, your motherboard will slowly secrete acidic resin which will fry the electronics. The processor will be fine, just to give you hope. You will be left with a husk of a machine, all because you decided to critique my mental ability... was it worth it? Not even your mummy can help you now fuck boy
January 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing