[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

(ā–€ĢæĹĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Think about your actions

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although this subreddit has 179,776 readers, I am not receiving 179,776 upvotes on my posts. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'upvote'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to upvote my most recent posts. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
September 2018

Classic

My laptop gets hot when chat is spammed

twitchquotes: Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don't want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat
twitch chat
August 2014

Classic

Math is "mental abuse to humans"

twitchquotes: You know how some people say that math is ā€œmental abuse to humansā€? Well, lemme tell you one thing: ā€œMathā€ is an abbreviation for ā€œmathematicsā€, so youā€™re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for ā€œexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool studentsā€! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, youā€™re not truly intelligent or cool! Youā€™re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Donā€™t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat
October 2020

Classic

Singlee and ready to Minglee

twitchquotes: MingLee SINGLEE MingLee AND MingLee READY MingLee TO MingLee MINGLEE MingLee
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

Years of research

twitchquotes: Yeah, Iā€™m a smash player. Along with that I know many things that most donā€™t know about these communities. Melee isnā€™t part of the actual smash community and Iā€™m not saying that because I donā€™t like them. Iā€™m saying that based off of years of research.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

Super Smash Bros

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