[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

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twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10
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Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America

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Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
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