[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

This new spam is FABULOUS

twitchquotes: ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ KappaPride DAMN THIS NEW SPAM IS FABULOUS KappaPride ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
twitch chat
September 2015

Classic

Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

sellout

Classic

Anime girl 13 (Ahegao)

⣿⣿⣷⡁⢆⠈⠕⢕⢂⢕⢂⢕⢂⢔⢂⢕⢄⠂⣂⠂⠆⢂⢕⢂⢕⢂⢕⢂⢕⢂ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠊⡢⡹⣦⡑⢂⢕⢂⢕⢂⢕⢂⠕⠔⠌⠝⠛⠶⠶⢶⣦⣄⢂⢕⢂⢕ ⣿⣿⠏⣠⣾⣦⡐⢌⢿⣷⣦⣅⡑⠕⠡⠐⢿⠿⣛⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠡⢷⡈⢂⢕⢂ ⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣑⠝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡵⢁⣤⣶⣶⣿⢿⢿⢿⡟⢻⣤⢑⢂ ⣾⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣬⣙⣻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⢟⢝⢕⢕⢕⢕⢽⣿⣿⣷⣔ ⣿⣿⠵⠚⠉⢀⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢷⣂⣠⣴⣾⡿⡿⡻⡻⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣵⣵⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⢌⠻⣿⡿⡫⡪⡪⡪⡪⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠣⡁⠹⡪⡪⡪⡪⣪⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠐⢉⢍⢄⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠈ ⡣⡘⢄⠙⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠠⠈ ⠌⢊⢂⢣⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢅⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⢜⠠⠈ ⠄⠁⠕⢝⡢⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣕⣑⣑⣑⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⢔⢕⣿⠠⠈ ⠨⡂⡀⢑⢕⡅⠂⠄⠉⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⢔⢕⢕⣿⣿⠠⠈ ⠄⠪⣂⠁⢕⠆⠄⠂⠄⠁⡀⠂⡀⠄⢈⠉⢍⢛⢛⢛⢋⢔⢕⢕⢕⣽⣿⣿⠠⠈
ascii art
May 2020

Weebs

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing