[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

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Forgive English, I am Russia

forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
July 2014

KappaPride

Classic

Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

UwU sentence deterioration

twitchquotes: Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω｀o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (Β΄ο½₯Ο‰ο½₯`)
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Classic

Anime girl 13 (Ahegao)

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘β’†β ˆβ •β’•β’‚β’•β’‚β’•β’‚β’”β’‚β’•β’„β ‚β£‚β ‚β †β’‚β’•β’‚β’•β’‚β’•β’‚β’•β’‚ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘·β Šβ‘’β‘Ήβ£¦β‘‘β’‚β’•β’‚β’•β’‚β’•β’‚β •β ”β Œβ β ›β Άβ Άβ’Άβ£¦β£„β’‚β’•β’‚β’• β£Ώβ£Ώβ β£ β£Ύβ£¦β‘β’Œβ’Ώβ£·β£¦β£…β‘‘β •β ‘β β’Ώβ Ώβ£›β Ÿβ ›β ›β ›β ›β ‘β’·β‘ˆβ’‚β’•β’‚ β Ÿβ£‘β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£¦β£‘β β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘΅β’β£€β£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ’Ώβ’Ώβ’Ώβ‘Ÿβ’»β£€β’‘β’‚ β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’Ÿβ£›β£»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£¦β£¬β£™β£»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ÿβ’β’•β’•β’•β’•β’½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£” β£Ώβ£Ώβ ΅β šβ ‰β’€β£€β£€β£ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£—β’•β’•β’•β’•β’•β’•β£½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ Ⓑ⣂⣠⣴⣾⑿⑿⑻⑻⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣡⣡⣡⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿ ⒌⠻⣿⑿⑫β‘ͺβ‘ͺβ‘ͺβ‘ͺβ£Ίβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒ ⠣⑁⠹β‘ͺβ‘ͺβ‘ͺβ‘ͺβ£ͺβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‹β β’‰β’β’„β’Œβ »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β ˆ β‘£β‘˜β’„β ™β£Ύβ£Ύβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘€β’β’•β’•β’•β’•β’•β‘˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β  β ˆ β Œβ’Šβ’‚β’£β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β’β’•β’•β’•β’•β’•β’…β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’‹β’œβ  β ˆ β „β β •β’β‘’β ˆβ »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£•β£‘β£‘β£‘β£΅β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’‹β’”β’•β£Ώβ  β ˆ β ¨β‘‚β‘€β’‘β’•β‘…β ‚β „β ‰β ›β »β Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’‹β’”β’•β’•β£Ώβ£Ώβ  β ˆ β „β ͺβ£‚β β’•β †β „β ‚β „β β‘€β ‚β‘€β „β’ˆβ ‰β’β’›β’›β’›β’‹β’”β’•β’•β’•β£½β£Ώβ£Ώβ  β ˆ
ascii art
May 2020

Weebs

Classic

You've been gnomed

β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–—β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–—β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ƒβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ƒβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ƒβ–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“ β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘
ascii art
October 2018

Classic

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