[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
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Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten

twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Big shoutout to NA LCS

twitchquotes: Big shoutout to NA LCS. My mother has sleep anxiety problems, but on weekends she sleeps like a bear. All I ask of her is to watch 10 minutes of NA LCS.
twitch chat
July 2015
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

With this chant I summon spam to the chat!

twitchquotes: ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆・ﾟClickity Clack, Clickity Clack, with this chant I summon spam to the chat! ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆・ﾟ
twitch chat
November 2014

Classic

Please DO NOT buy the BTS meal if you don't stan them

Please DO NOT buy the BTS meal if you don't stan them. You're preventing the actual BTS fans who have waited for months from having the BTS meal experience. Eating the sauces without understanding their significance is literally cultural appropriation and it's not okay
June 2021

Classic

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

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