[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

I am coming back from my 10 minute ban

twitchquotes: I am coming back from my 10 minute ban, and I want to say that I think it was bullshit. Yes, I wrote a funny paragraph that turned into copypasta, which happened to bring a laugh or a smile to a few people. If you mods wanted that to stop, you could have just said so, there is so much copypasta going on in this chat that I could have never thought that deserved a 10 minute ban. Reggie is probably a mod in here and he is the one that banned me. Anyway, I'm glad to be back
twitch chat
April 2021

Classic

MODS

Start with something small like your intelligence

twitchquotes: I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
twitch chat
March 2020

Classic

Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy

twitchquotes: Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one turn without requiring any cards on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Hearthstone more fun and compelling, but taking 20+ damage in one turn is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
May 2017

Classic

Hearthstone

ASCENDED invisible spam

twitchquotes: ASCENDED invisible spam โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ PogChamp
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

Forgive English, I am Russia

forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
July 2014

KappaPride

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing