[Copypasta] My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Are you going to pay for another pizza?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste extra salty. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

Poop

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„TSMโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
June 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

REKT Not REKT

โ˜ Not REKT โ˜‘ REKT โ˜‘ REKTangle โ˜‘ SHREKT โ˜‘ REKT-it Ralph โ˜‘ Total REKTall โ˜‘ The Lord of the REKT โ˜‘ The Usual SusREKTs โ˜‘ North by NorthREKT โ˜‘ REKT to the Future โ˜‘ Once Upon a Time in the REKT โ˜‘ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT โ˜‘ LawREKT of Arabia โ˜‘ Tyrannosaurus REKT โ˜‘ eREKTile dysfunction
May 2014

Classic

Shrek

Among Us is ruining my fucking life

I can't fucking take it any more. Among Us has singlehandedly ruined my life. The other day my teacher was teaching us Greek Mythology and he mentioned a pegasus and I immediately thought 'Pegasus? more like Mega Sus!!!!' and I've never wanted to kms more. I can't look at a vent without breaking down and fucking crying. I can't eat pasta without thinking 'IMPASTA??? THATS PRETTY SUS!!!!' Skit 4 by Kanye West. The lyrics ruined me. A Mongoose, or the 25th island of greece. The scientific name for pig. I can't fucking take it anymore. Please fucking end my suffering.
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing