[Copypasta] Think about your actions

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although this subreddit has 179,776 readers, I am not receiving 179,776 upvotes on my posts. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'upvote'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to upvote my most recent posts. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
September 2018

Classic

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Kappa

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–’β–€β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Classic

Rick Astley paradox

twitchquotes: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.
twitch chat
June 2020

Classic

TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them. Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem. At the time my girlfriend, now FiancΓ©e, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day. While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made. Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that! Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
August 2021

Classic

Grammarly ad script

Writing's not easy. That's why Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy, and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader. Much better. Are you ready to give it a try? Installation is simple and free. Visit Grammarly.com today!
November 2020

Classic

Handsome Squidward

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β €β –β Šβ ‰β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ™β ²β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β Šβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’’β €β €β €β €β €β’³β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ±β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β ˆβ €β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘°β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β‘†β‘œβ β €β €β €β €β’§β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⑂⠀⠇⠱⠀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β’‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’„β‘€β’ β£Ÿβ’­β£₯β£€β ½β‘†β €β‘Άβ£Šβ£‰β£²β£€β’€β‘žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β €β β ‚β ˜β „β£ˆβ£™β‘‘β‘΄β €β €β ™β£„β ™β£›β œβ ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β „β Šβ €β €β €β €β‘Έβ ›β €β €β €β’Έβ †β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ “β ¦β’„β£˜β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘ β €β €β €β €β£‡β‘€β €β €β£ β Žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β ˆβ‘Ÿβ ’β ²β£„β €β €β‘°β ‡β –β’„β €β €β‘Ήβ‘‡β’€β Žβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘‡β €β €β‘‡β €β €β Ήβ €β‘žβ €β €β’€β €β£β ­β‘€β’±β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£ β žβ €β €β’ β‘‡β €β €β €β €β β €β’΄β ₯β €β ¦β ¦β‘Όβ €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£€β£€β£΄β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ β €β ‹β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β£ β’€β β β €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ¬β ₯β£„β €β €β ˆβ ²β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ™β ¦β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’³β €β €β’€β£Ώβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ™β ’β ¦β €β’€β£„β£€β£ β €β’Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β € ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⑼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣢⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣢⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing