[Copypasta] Mods can't ban me at this pace

twitchquotes: 🐒 SLOW AND STEADY 🐒 WINS THE RACE 🐒 MODS CAN'T BAN ME 🐒 AT THIS PACE 🐒
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Secret Puerto Rican lover

twitchquotes: Hola, Kripp, this is Antonio, Rania's secret Puerto Rican lover. I mistakenly left a package of my Magnum XXL Heavy-Duty Condoms at your place last night while you were complaining about a children's card game. I was hoping I could swing by tonight and pick them up. I'll just go in through the backdoor just like how I do with Rania, the dirty girl! Thanks, and good luck with your funny little computer game!
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Classic

I will now transform this human into a cat

twitchquotes: I WILL NOW TRANSFORM THIS HUMAN INTO A CATβ•°( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° )γ€β”€β”€β˜† -> -> -> Kappa Keepo CoolCat
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

When I use this text, my brain cell begin to die

twitchquotes: ο½—ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž i use ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ ο½”ο½…ο½˜ο½”οΌŒ my ο½‚ο½’ο½ο½‰ο½Ž ο½ƒο½…ο½Œο½Œ ο½ο½•ο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œο½™ ο½‚ο½…ο½‡ο½‰ο½Ž to ο½„ο½‰ο½…οΌŽ ο½™ο½…ο½” i ο½ƒο½ο½Žο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½•ο½… to copypasta ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½†ο½…ο½…ο½Œ i ο½ƒο½ο½Žο½”ο½’ο½‰ο½‚ο½•ο½”ο½… to ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½‰ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’ο½Žο½…ο½”οΌŽ all ο½‚ο½…ο½ƒο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ retard.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

As a teemo main at a respectably high elo

twitchquotes: As a teemo main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn teemo PM me (im gold 3 24lp) I also do coaching
twitch chat
April 2018

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing