[Copypasta] Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten

twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Just a feller out on the farm

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⡇⠀⠀ KKona ⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣷⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⠀⣠⣤⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡷⠀ ⠻⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣀ ⠀⠀⢹⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢙⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠛⠓ ⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠟⠿⠷⠶⠶⠾⠿⢿⠿⠿⠿ Don't mind me, just a feller out on the farm.
March 2019

Classic

Qt has finally reached rank one

twitchquotes: The year is 2050, league is played by less than 100 people. Qt has finally reached rank one, "Lisha I did it!" he yells excitedly. The sound echoes through the empty mansion. Lisha left long ago...
twitch chat
May 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing