[Copypasta] hey there buddy chum pal friend

twitchquotes: hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...
twitch chat
October 2020

Classic

I used to be a real ad
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Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

If you are reading this, WAKE UP

twitchquotes: If you are reading this, WAKE UP. You are in a simulation. Don't you see it? The same responses repeating in chat? Its because the computer only has a set number of lines. Wake up before its too late!
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

Do not fear a man that spams 1000 memes

twitchquotes: MingLee Do not fear a man that spams 1000 memes, instead fear a man that spams a meme 1000 times MingLee
twitch chat
June 2016

Classic

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Kappa

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Classic

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