[Copypasta] In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

A variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/4462
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You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Classic

Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)
twitch chat
April 2014

Classic

Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America

twitchquotes: β˜…γ€€γ€€β˜… Β° ☾ β˜† ΒΈ. ΒΈ γ€€β˜…γ€€ :.γ€€ . β€’ β—‹ Β° β˜…γ€€ .γ€€ *γ€€.γ€€.γ€€γ€€ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€ Β° γ€€ΒΈ. * ● ΒΈ .γ€€...somewhereγ€€γ€€γ€€Β° ☾ Β° γ€€ΒΈ. ● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β° :.γ€€ . β€’ Β° γ€€ .γ€€ *γ€€:.γ€€.in a parallel universe* ● ΒΈ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€Β° ☾ Β°β˜† γ€€. * ΒΈ.γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€β˜… Β° . .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€β˜Ύ Β°β˜† γ€€. * ● ΒΈ ..EUROPE...Β° β˜Ύγ€€β˜… °● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β° :.γ€€ . β€’ β—‹ Β° β˜…γ€€ .γ€€ * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA β˜Ύγ€€β˜… °● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β°
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

Trevor from ChatBotsForTwitch.com

twitchquotes: Hi [insert streamer name], this is Trevor from ChAtBotsForTwitch,com. We kindly request that if you're going to pay the extra to have our employees interact with your chat, you don't make fun of them. We know you have difficulty getting real viewers and it frustrates you, but please don't take it out on my employees. Thank you, Trevor.
twitch chat
March 2021

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