[Copypasta] The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka

The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 ยฐC or -460 ยฐF) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus? The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions. Follow for more updates on this developing story.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Among Us / Amogus Copypastas

Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game โ€œAmong Usโ€ after playing it on his computer. While i didnโ€™t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susโ€™ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said โ€˜kickedโ€™. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heโ€™ll โ€œejectโ€ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripโ€™, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a โ€œcrewmateโ€. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use โ€œventโ€ to get there. I donโ€™t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜Ž Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff โ˜บ๏ธ to my impostor body pillow, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ but when I came, ๐Ÿ‘ป I started floating, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ and think I got teleported into the skeld. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.๐Ÿคค ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ I immediately was transported back to earth, ๐Ÿ˜ญ and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, ๐Ÿคช as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter ๐Ÿ’ช โ€œIM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTERโ€ I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me ๐Ÿคค but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ™โ˜น๏ธ She then said I was going to a magical place called the โ€œmental asylumโ€ ๐Ÿค” Iโ€™m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

jeSUS

So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church. We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week. But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus." "Jesus." "JeSUS." No way. I could not believe what I was hearing. Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan. If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us." "WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence. Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.) They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children. "Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?" And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!! "Young man, please be quiet" said the priest. He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem? "THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!" This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be. I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me. As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me! I had to think fast. After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard. A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him. Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull. "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!" No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever. I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy. "You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism." The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite. He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him. But he was still the imposter. I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere. Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on. "This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!" This guy is so sus, let me tell ya. Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast. "Dammit, I can't hit him!" I knew I had him beat then. So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.) I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion. The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus. I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

AMONGUS AMONGUS AMONGUS

โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธHOLY FUCKING ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿ‘ฆ SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ’ž AMONG ๐Ÿ’ฐ US ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 ๐Ÿ˜ฑ! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ AMONG ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ US ๐Ÿ‘จ IS THE BEST ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ฏ FUCKING ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ GAME ๐ŸŽฎ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ RED ๐Ÿ”ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ COME ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐Ÿ‘€ ME SCAN ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ WHY ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿค” IS NO โš ๐Ÿšซ ONE 1๏ธโƒฃ FIXING ๐Ÿ‘พ O2 ๐Ÿ…พ ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก OH ๐Ÿ™€ YOUR ๐Ÿ‘‰ CREWMATE? NAME ๐Ÿ“› EVERY ๐Ÿ’ฏ TASK ๐Ÿ“‹ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜  Where Any sus!โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ โ“ Where! Any sus!โ“ Where! โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Where!โ“ Where! โ“ Where!Any susโ“ โ“ Any sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where! โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ! โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ Any sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ! โ“ โ“ Where!โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where!Where! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ Any sus!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Where! โ“ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ think ๐Ÿค” it was purple!๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€It wasnt me I ๐Ÿ‘ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Emoji Pasta

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing