[Copypasta] Does it look like I give a duck about your chat experience?

twitchquotes: DuckerZ DOES DuckerZ IT DuckerZ LOOK DuckerZ LIKE DuckerZ I DuckerZ GIVE DuckerZ A DuckerZ DUCK DuckerZ ABOUT DuckerZ YOUR DuckerZ CHAT DuckerZ EXPERIENCE? DuckerZ
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

NA ULT LUL

twitchquotes: Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Overwatch

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

Thinking Emoji

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’ β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’ β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’ β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’ β–’β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
May 2017

Classic

Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

I cannot get over how much Kripp complains

twitchquotes: I cannot get over how much this guy complains as soon as he doesn't get extremely lucky. He is so incredibly narcissistic that he truly believes nobody else is allowed to do well or draft effective cards. We are all just guests who play in Kripp's world of hearthstone. To suggest that you are better than Kripp must simply mean that you have better RNG. What an arrogant failure of a man
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing