[Copypasta] Gay chicken

twitchquotes: In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
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September 2019

Classic

KappaPride

What happened to this ad? :(
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I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

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Unseen donger is the deadliest

twitchquotes: (ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง
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June 2017

Classic

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
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April 2020

Classic

When I use this text, my brain cell begin to die

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｉ ｕｓｅ ｔｈｉｓ ｔｅｘｔ， ｍｙ ｂｒａｉｎ ｃｅｌｌ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｂｅｇｉｎ ｔｏ ｄｉｅ． ｙｅｔ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｉｎｕｅ ｔｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔａ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｒｉｂｕｔｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｎｅｔ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｒｅｔａｒｄ.
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March 2014
Kripp

Classic

When spam, my text automatically go to the smallest size

twitchquotes: ʷʰᵉᶰ ˢᵖᵃᵐ, ᵐʸ ᵗᵉˣᵗ ᵃᵘᵗᵒᵐᵃᵗᶦᶜᵃᶫᶫʸ ᵍᵒ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫᵉˢᵗ ˢᶦᶻᵉ⋅ ᶦ ᶜᵃᶰ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᶦᶻᵉ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᵖᵉʳ ᵖᶦˣᵉᶫ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦᶰᶜʳᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᶦᶠᶠᶦᶜᵘᶫᵗʸ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᶜᵃᵘˢᶦᶰᵍ ᶠʳᵘˢᵗʳᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᶦᵉʷᵉʳ⋅ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᵘᵐ ᵉᶠᶠᶦᶜᶦᵉᶰᶜʸ
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November 2014

Classic

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