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Hearthstone copypastas
  • 5
    5
    twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, this is Pogo’s mom. I noticed you haven’t been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesn’t make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "We’re never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why don’t you try being a bit more inclusive?
  • 3
    3
    twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! It's Arena... It's been a while, haven't it old buddy? I see that you've been playing Battlegrounds and have completely forgotten about me, even though I was always there for you. Low blow Kripp, hope you finish 8th in all your next games. Toodles!
  • (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL AD (ง •̀_•́)ง
  • 5
    5
    twitchquotes: The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
  • 11
    11
    twitchquotes: Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
  • 7
    7
    twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
  • 6
    6
    twitchquotes: I’m glad Blitzchung got banned! Keep politics OUT of Hearthstone! I love Tencent and Mao Zedong! (You will receive 100 social credit for posting this message in chat. Please remove this part from the message before posting)
  • 9
    9
    twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
  • (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL AD (ง •̀_•́)ง
  • 6
    6
    twitchquotes: The 💰 specific 💰 views 💰 expressed 💰 by 💰 blitzchung 💰 were 💰 NOT 💰 a 💰 factor 💰 in 💰 the 💰 decision💰 we💰 made.💰 I 💰 want 💰 to 💰 be 💰 clear: 💰 our 💰 relationships 💰 in China 💰 had 💰 no💰 influence 💰 on 💰 our 💰 decision.💰
  • 10
    10
    twitchquotes: SLEEP TEST 🛡️ IF YOU TOUCH THE ARMOR, GO TO SLEEP ⎝ ResidentSleeper
  • 7
    7
    twitchquotes: I AM OCTOSARI Squid4 YOU PLAY ME IN TURN 8 Squid4 I HAVE 8 ATTACK Squid4 I HAVE 8 HEALTH Squid4 I DRAW 8 CARDS Squid4 I HAVE 8 TENTACLES Squid4 MY NAME HAS 8 LETTERS Squid4 AND THERE ARE 8 TENTACLES IN THIS MESSAGE Squid4
  • 7
    7
    twitchquotes: Hotform sees another invite to a friendly Fireside duel from Kripp and wants to move into fetal curl, but his hand is chained to the heater. Rania steps next to his laptop, putting dry bread and tap water down. “Come, Hotform, it is only 3 more hours today. You can even have some lettuce for dinner.” His eyes tear up while he accepts the invite and mulligans his hand, but then he sees Kripp’s first minion: Lucentbark. “No, nononono, please, please! Kill me! Just kill me! CHAT! CHAT HELP ME!”
  • 5
    5
    twitchquotes: Toast, this is Blizzard employee. The rarity of your reveal card was just nerfed to common. To get a rare card, please mention the new expansion at least 4 more times.
  • 12
    12
    twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
  • 6
    6
    twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. :(
  • (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL AD (ง •̀_•́)ง
  • 3
    3
    twitchquotes: Hey Thijs. Its the G2 director here. We kindly ask you to remove wisp from your’e grandmasters deck. We are G2 not clown, i mean Cloud 9 and we expect the people representing us to take things serious and not make a joke of our orginazation. We know you are aware what said in the contract and we expect change as soon as possible.
  • 9
    9
    twitchquotes: Thijs I am a 22 year old gamer girl in search of a gamer man. I have been watching your stream for years and really like your deck. If you want to give a cute gamer girl like me a chance whisper me. ;) HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
  • 6
    6
    twitchquotes: I love your stream. Your energy and optimism is inspiring and you just make my day so much brighter. Just kidding lol. It's tanner. I see you're still playing this children's card game despite me stealing and selling your account back in the day. Anyways, good talk. See you at the gym ... not.
  • 8
    8
    twitchquotes: What has my life come to? I'm sitting in an empty room, behind my wooden pc watching a guy play a card game for children, probably earning my yearly salary in a week's time. All of my ambitions are now gone. Only thing that i have left is my old pc and a memory of who i once was...
  • 7
    7
    twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, whenever I watch you it is hard for me to tell if my video has frozen or not because your face never moves. Please ask your opponent to emote so I know it's live!
  • (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL AD (ง •̀_•́)ง
  • 4
    4
    twitchquotes: 🌳 THIS 🌲 IS 🌴 NOT 🎄 YOUR 🌲 HOME 🌳 INVADER 🌲
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