I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Years of research
twitchquotes:
Yeah, I’m a smash player. Along with that I know many things that most don’t know about these communities. Melee isn’t part of the actual smash community and I’m not saying that because I don’t like them. I’m saying that based off of years of research.
twitch chat
Classic
Super Smash Bros
Unsettled Tom
⣿⣷⡶⠚⠉⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤
⠿⠥⢶⡏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⣴⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣍⡛⢷⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣯⠽⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⠿⠿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿
⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣏⡧⠙⠁⣀⢾⣧ ⠈⣿⡟ ⠙⣫⣵⣶⠇⣋
⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⢀⣀⢻⣎⢻⣷⣤⣴⠟ ⣠⣾⣿⢟⣵⡆⢿
⣿⣯⣄⢘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢀⣤⡙⢿⣴⣿⣷⡉⠉⢀ ⣴⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⡿⢆
⠿⣿⣧⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⠏ ⡔⠉⠉⢻⣦⠻⣿⣿⣶⣾⡟⣼⣿⣿⣱⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿
⣷⣮⣝⣛⣃⡉⣿⡏ ⣾⣧⡀ ⣿⡇⢘⣿⠋ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢧⣴⣘⢿⣿⣶⣾⡿⠁⢠⠿⠁⠜ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣷⣉⡛⠋ ⣰⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⢿⠟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣰⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿
⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠿⠿⠿⠛⢰⣾⡿⢟⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Classic
Giving due respect to the chat moderators
twitchquotes:
Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.
twitch chat
MODS
Classic
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Spice! 
And everything nice! 
These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect streamer. But Professor Reynad accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction - Chemical Vegan! Thus, the Kripp was born! 