[Copypasta] Naughty fun

Albanian virus

twitchquotes: Hi, I am an Albanian virus but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to harm your computer. Please be so kind to delete one of your important files yourself and then forward me other users. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards, Albanian virus

twitch chat

October 2015

Classic

A New Toucan Has Arrived

░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░▄██▀░█░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░███▀█▀█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▄███░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄██░░░░█░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀█░░░ ░░░░░░▄███░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░█████▄░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░████████▄▄░█░░░░A░NEW░░░░░░░░░ ░░░████████████░░░░░░TOUCAN░░░░░░░ ░░░▀██████████░░░░░░░░HAS░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░██▒▀█▒▀█▀░░░░░░░░░░ARRIVED░░░░ ░■▓▓▓▓▓▄▓▓▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓■░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▄███▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

ascii art

January 2019

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.

January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Years of research

twitchquotes: Yeah, I’m a smash player. Along with that I know many things that most don’t know about these communities. Melee isn’t part of the actual smash community and I’m not saying that because I don’t like them. I’m saying that based off of years of research.

twitch chat

January 2019

Classic

Super Smash Bros

Le budget Toucan has arrived

twitchquotes: <(°) Le budget Toucan has arrived

twitch chat

December 2014

Kripp

[Copypasta] Naughty fun

Classic

Classic

Albanian virus

Classic

A New Toucan Has Arrived

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

Classic

WallStreetBets

Years of research

Classic

Super Smash Bros

Le budget Toucan has arrived

Classic

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