[Copypasta] I miss the old Harambe

twitchquotes: I miss the old Harambe. Straight from the zoo Harambe. Eating his food Harambe. No attitude Harambe. I hate the new Harambe. Shot by a dude Harambe. The Youtube views Harambe. Up in the news Harambe. I miss the sweet Harambe. Playing with kids Harambe. I gotta say at that time I'd like to meet Harambe. See I invented Harambe. It wasnt any Harambes. And now i look and look around and there's no more Harambes.
twitch chat
September 2016

Classic

Harambe

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Spooky skeleton

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Classic

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts

twitchquotes: I like how [insert streamer name] doesn't realize that all his viewers are me on different accounts. Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts
twitch chat
December 2015

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ”ŠTHIS IS A ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐ŸธALERT. INCOMING ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEME๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ŒHEADING STRAIGHT ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€YOUR WAY. ๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐Ÿšง๐Ÿšง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐Ÿธ ๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹ .BUCKLE UPโ™ฟโ™ฟโ™ฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿ‘ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐Ÿ“ต๐Ÿ“ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿšฌ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿšฌ๐ŸšฌDANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing