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More Classic Copypastas
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
I fucked Up DVD
Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
Classic
Hey Kripp, itβs me Jimmy from high school
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, itβs me Jimmy from high school. Its so cool to see you streaming on Twitch. Me and Dustin really miss you. The cheerleading team is nothing without you. And remember that kiss you and I shared in the back of the bus? Those were some good times. We should definitely hook up again XOXO
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Tanner from High School
Le budget Toucan has arrived
twitchquotes:
<(Β°) Le budget Toucan has arrived
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Meanwhile in Forsen's mouth
twitchquotes:
Meanwhile in Forsen's mouth: ~ 
γγγ ~ γγγγγγγγ~ γγγγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγ~ γγγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγγγγγ γ~ ~ γ γγ~ γγγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγ γγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγγγγγγ~ γγγγγ~ γγγγγγ~ γ γγγ~
γγγ ~ γγγγγγγγ~ γγγγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγ~ γγγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγγγγγ γ~ ~ γ γγ~ γγγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγ γγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγγγγ~ γγγγ~ γγγγγγγγ~ γγγγγ~ γγγγγγ~ γ γγγ~
twitch chat
Forsen