If you angerly masturbate to another guy's money and jizz in your mouth and compliment yourself for the taste when you're on your shift at work, then you've committed all 7 sins... with room to spare.
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More Classic Copypastas
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of β₯β₯β₯β₯!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"β₯β₯β₯β₯ you β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka
The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 Β°C or -460 Β°F) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus?
The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions.
Follow for more updates on this developing story.
Among Us / Amogus
Classic
If any of you copy and paste this you will be in serious trouble
twitchquotes:
αΆ¦ Λ’Κ·α΅α΅Κ³ α΅α΅ α΅α΅α΅ αΆ¦αΆ α΅αΆ°ΚΈ α΅αΆ ΚΈα΅α΅ α΅α΅α΅Κ°α΅Κ³Κ³αΆ α΅αΆα΅α΅Κ³Λ’ αΆα΅α΅ΚΈ α΅αΆ°α΅ α΅α΅Λ’α΅α΅ α΅Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ ΚΈα΅α΅ Κ·αΆ¦αΆ«αΆ« α΅α΅ αΆ¦αΆ° Λ’α΅Κ³αΆ¦α΅α΅Λ’ α΅Κ³α΅α΅α΅αΆ«α΅
twitch chat
Classic
Le Boobhead has arrived
βββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββ(β)βββββββ(β)βββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββleββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββboobheadβββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββhasβββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββarrivedβββββββββββββββββββ
Classic
Europe is the Eastern USA
twitchquotes:
Europe was founded in 1848 by Walker Texas Ranger when he rode a horse across the Atlantic, he called it "Eastern USA" which was eventually abbreviated as just "EU"
twitch chat