[Copypasta] Jeff Bezos vs Elon Musk

Jeff Bezos -Bald -Exwife took half his networth -Second richest person Elon Musk -Grew back full head of hair -Has girlfriend, allegedly had a threesome with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne -Richest person TSLA > AMZN
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/ksmmx6/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_january_08_2021/gigtz2j
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

WEEB pyramid

VoHiYo only real WEEB can build this perfect pyramid VoHiYo VoHiYo . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !! VoHiYo VoHiYo VoHiYo And my pyramid still higher!!!!!! VoHiYo VoHiYo VoHiYo VoHiYo
twitch chat
June 2016

Weebs

Classic

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

Learning how to throw like a pro

twitchquotes: Hey Imaqtpie! Thanks for the quality stream. I'm watching with my son and you have become his mentor. He is going into baseball so he's learning how to throw like a pro from you! Thanks again!
twitch chat
June 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

200 word essay due

twitchquotes: 200 word essay due tomorrow and I'm here watching qtpie EleGiggle
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing