[Copypasta] Jeff Bezos vs Elon Musk

Jeff Bezos -Bald -Exwife took half his networth -Second richest person Elon Musk -Grew back full head of hair -Has girlfriend, allegedly had a threesome with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne -Richest person TSLA > AMZN
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/ksmmx6/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_january_08_2021/gigtz2j
I used to be a real ad
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Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

Vegan Propaganda

twitchquotes: KKona Howdy Kripp, my name is Bill and I work in the meat industry. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of all the vegan propaganda you're spreading on this here livestream. You rave about the health benefits of becoming a leaf-muncher, but look at you! You're a pale, scrawny, hallowed-out husk of a man. Hell, you probably can't even lift up a hamburger with those pitiful arms of yours. If you don't stop hating on meat, I'm gonna come by in my truck and force-feed you my "giant sausage!"
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Classic

Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

Classic

pepeJAM

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠲⠶⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⡀⠤⣦⢰⣤⣶⢶⣤⣤⣈⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠟⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣊⡘⠲⣶⣷⣶⠶⠶⠶⠦⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠔⠊⠁⠁⠄⠄⢾⡿⣟⡯⣖⠯⠽⠿⠛⠛⠭⠽⠊⣲⣬⠽⠟⠛⠛⠭⢵⣂⠄ ⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⡷⠋⣴⡆⠄⠐⠂⢸⣿⣿⡶⢱⣶⡇⠄⠐⠂⢹⣷⣶⠆ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⣿⡓⠮⣅⣀⣀⣐⣈⣭⠤⢖⣮⣭⣥⣀⣤⣤⣭⡵⠂⠄ ⣤⡀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣶⣶⡶⢖⣢⣴⣿⣿⣟⣛⠿⠿⠟⣛⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡗⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡘⠿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⠱⢿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠰⣞⡛⠷⣬⣙⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣓⡀⠄ ⢡⣾⣷⢠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠷⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⢿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⡶⠾⠿⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⡟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣙⡛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄ ⠿⡐⢬⣛⡻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⣷⣶⣭⣝⣒⣒⠶⠬⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⣐⣒⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
April 2020

Classic

Pepe

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