[Copypasta] At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds

twitchquotes: Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 4Head
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

I used to be a real ad
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Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Uninstalling valorant

UNINSTALLING VALORANT โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–‡โ–ข ใ€€ใ€€โ•ญโ”โ•ฎโ•ญโ”โ•ฎโ•ญโ•ฎใ€€โ•ฑ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€โ•ฐโ”โ”ซโ•ฐโ”โ”ซโ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฑโ•ญโ•ฎ ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€โ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ•ฐโ”โ•ฏใ€€โ•ฑใ€€โ•ฐโ•ฏ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ COMPLETE
ascii art
June 2021

Valorant

Classic

Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying

Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your shitty country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.
December 2018

Weebs

Classic

Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Amengโ€™s cheeks as he squatted on Bumperโ€™s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Amengโ€™s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES

twitchquotes: MOSHI MOSHI ๐Ÿ“ž AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES ๐Ÿ“ž AYAYA NEED BACKUP ๐Ÿ“ž AYAYA ARIGATO ๐Ÿ“ž AYAYA
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Classic

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