I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Unseen donger is the deadliest
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
Among Us is ruining my fucking life
I can't fucking take it any more. Among Us has singlehandedly ruined my life. The other day my teacher was teaching us Greek Mythology and he mentioned a pegasus and I immediately thought 'Pegasus? more like Mega Sus!!!!' and I've never wanted to kms more. I can't look at a vent without breaking down and fucking crying. I can't eat pasta without thinking 'IMPASTA??? THATS PRETTY SUS!!!!' Skit 4 by Kanye West. The lyrics ruined me. A Mongoose, or the 25th island of greece. The scientific name for pig. I can't fucking take it anymore.
Please fucking end my suffering.
Among Us / Amogus
Classic
I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Classic
I sexually Identify as
Poop
░░░░░░░░░░░█▀▀░░█░░░░░░
░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀░░░░░█▄▄░░░░
░░░░░░█░█░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░
░░░░░░▐▐░░░░░░░░░▄░▐░░░
░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░▄▀▀░▐░░░
░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░▐░▄▄▀░░░░
░░▄▀░░░▐░░░░░█▄▀░▐░░░░░
░░█░░░▐░░░░░░░░▄░█░░░░░
░░░█▄░░▀▄░░░░▄▀▐░█░░░░░
░░░█▐▀▀▀░▀▀▀▀░░▐░█░░░░░
░░▐█▐▄░░▀░░░░░░▐░█▄▄░░
░░░▀▀░▄TSM▄░░░▐▄▄▄▀░░░
Riot Games