[Copypasta] Giving due respect to the chat moderators

twitchquotes: Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.
twitch chat
December 2014

MODS

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Grammarly ad script

Writing's not easy. That's why Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy, and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader. Much better. Are you ready to give it a try? Installation is simple and free. Visit Grammarly.com today!
November 2020

Classic

Moon emoji blob

๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐Ÿ‘„๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ”๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ• ๐ŸŒ•๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•
ascii art
February 2021

Classic

Avoid embarrasing incidents

twitchquotes: Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. :)
twitch chat
December 2018

Classic

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing