[Copypasta] FitnessGram Pacer Test

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
September 2016

Classic

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Albanian virus

twitchquotes: Hi, I am an Albanian virus but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to harm your computer. Please be so kind to delete one of your important files yourself and then forward me other users. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards, Albanian virus
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

Gachi pose

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣾⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣤⣤⣤⠄⢤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⡾⢏⢠⣶⣶⣾⡑⡀⢸⠋⠁⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠁⠰⣋⢫⢲⡇⠛⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣉⠻⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣟⣋⣉⣁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣆⣂⡕⠼⠂⠉⣿⣿⡇⢏⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢸⢋⡁⢊⠒⣲⡶⠊⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣦⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⡟⠄⡆⢸⣧⣾⣶⣤⣤⣾⡿⣿⣿⠿⡻⣻⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣥⣾⣿⠿⣛⠅⢰⣗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣶⣶⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⠲⠿⣵⣿⣟⢅⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡟⠋⣠⣤⣤⣤⣍⡑⠂⠬⢉⣾⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⢶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⢉⣁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠟⢁⣠⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠉⠿⣿⡇⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠹⠇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
November 2018
Forsen

Classic

KappaPride

A severe lack of cute emotes in chat

twitchquotes: Konichiwa Kripp-kun AYAYA . This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like AYAYA and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing