twitchquotes:
you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about 
you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
Shrek is love. Shrek is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.๏ปฟ
Shrek
Classic
Please stop spamming, for Bernard
twitchquotes:
Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard.
twitch chat
Classic
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!
twitchquotes:
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ 
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
twitch chat
Classic
I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Classic
I sexually Identify as
Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss
In Japan ๐ฏ๐ต , heart surgeon โค๏ธ๐จโโ๏ธ . Number one ๐ญโ๏ธ . Steady hand๐ณโ๏ธ. One day, Yakuza boss ๐๐ปneed ๐ heart๐. I do operation๐ชโ๏ธ. But, mistake๐ฑ! Yakuza boss die๐ต๐ช! Yakuza very mad๐ฟ. I hide๐ in fishing boat๐๐ฃ๐ปโโ๏ธ, come to America๐๐๐บ๐ธ. No english๐ค, no food๐ฉ, no money๐๐ซ๐ฒ. Darryl ๐จ๐ฟgive me job๐๐จ๐ปโ๐ผ. Now I have house๐ก, American car ๐ , and new woman ๐๐ฑ๐ปโโ๏ธ. Darryl ๐จ๐ฟsave lifeโ. My big secret๐: I kill โ ๏ธyakuza boss on purpose๐. I good ๐surgeon. The best๐๐ฏ!