twitchquotes:
you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about 
you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
A New Toucan Has Arrived
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββAβNEWβββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββTOUCANβββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββHASβββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββARRIVEDββββ
ββ ββββββββββββββββββ ββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Classic
VAPE TEST
twitchquotes:
VAPE TEST 
()_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_) If the arms touch the vape, you are LIT β 
β
()_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_Μ
_) If the arms touch the vape, you are LIT β β
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
VapeNation
Chat Test
Greggnog
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
Classic
Can the mods ban us all?
twitchquotes:
can 
the mods ban us all
the mods ban us all
twitch chat