[Copypasta] A girl... AND a gamer?

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
March 2021

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Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
February 2021

Shrek

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Tanner from Highschool

twitchquotes: So you're going by "loltyler1" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic..
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

Classic

Tanner from High School

Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America

twitchquotes: β˜…γ€€γ€€β˜… Β° ☾ β˜† ΒΈ. ΒΈ γ€€β˜…γ€€ :.γ€€ . β€’ β—‹ Β° β˜…γ€€ .γ€€ *γ€€.γ€€.γ€€γ€€ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€ Β° γ€€ΒΈ. * ● ΒΈ .γ€€...somewhereγ€€γ€€γ€€Β° ☾ Β° γ€€ΒΈ. ● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β° :.γ€€ . β€’ Β° γ€€ .γ€€ *γ€€:.γ€€.in a parallel universe* ● ΒΈ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€Β° ☾ Β°β˜† γ€€. * ΒΈ.γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€β˜… Β° . .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€β˜Ύ Β°β˜† γ€€. * ● ΒΈ ..EUROPE...Β° β˜Ύγ€€β˜… °● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β° :.γ€€ . β€’ β—‹ Β° β˜…γ€€ .γ€€ * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA β˜Ύγ€€β˜… °● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β°
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

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