[Copypasta] Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
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we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

ASCENDED invisible spam

twitchquotes: ASCENDED invisible spam โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ PogChamp
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March 2015

Classic

My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???

He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
February 2021

WallStreetBets

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American Test Passed

twitchquotes: โœ“ Obesity โœ“ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ซ โœ“ Laziness โœ“ Stupidity โœ“ ๐ŸŒต โœ“ McDonald's โœ“ Donald Trump โœ“ $70k College โœ“ Bad healthcare โœ“ Bad food โœ“ Bad music โœ“ Fahrenheit โœ“ Pounds โœ“ Inches โœ“ AMERICAN TEST PASSED
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September 2015

Classic

EU vs NA

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