[Copypasta] Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

Classic

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

Kappa

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing