[Copypasta] "touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

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More Classic Copypastas

CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER

twitchquotes: You idly watching the stream, mindlessly wasting yet another evening. You notice 4+ length message in the chat. Grabbing the mouse, hovering over, scrolling up. Reading the message and realizing the pasta has no meaning at all. CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER. You are retarded.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

Everything points to Amogus

πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΏπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘‡πŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘‰πŸ» ࢞ πŸ‘ˆπŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘†πŸ»πŸ‘ˆπŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘‰πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ‘ˆπŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘‰πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘†πŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘†πŸΎπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘†πŸΏπŸ‘ˆπŸΏ
March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

I have to print out chat in order to read it

twitchquotes: Hey guys, my monitor isn't working. I have to print out chat in order to read it. The paper and ink are really expensive, so please don't spam! Thank you.
twitch chat
September 2018

Classic

Jeff Bezos vs Elon Musk

Jeff Bezos -Bald -Exwife took half his networth -Second richest person Elon Musk -Grew back full head of hair -Has girlfriend, allegedly had a threesome with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne -Richest person TSLA > AMZN
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

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