I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
Handsome Squidward
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠖⠊⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠲⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡤⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠈⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡂⠀⠇⠱⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢄⡀⢠⣟⢭⣥⣤⠽⡆⠀⡶⣊⣉⣲⣤⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠐⠂⠘⠄⣈⣙⡡⡴⠀⠀⠙⣄⠙⣛⠜⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠛⠀⠀⠀⢸⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⢄⣘⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⡀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠈⡟⠒⠲⣄⠀⠀⡰⠇⠖⢄⠀⠀⡹⡇⢀⠎⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠹⠀⡞⠀⠀⢀⠤⣍⠭⡀⢱⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣠⠞⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢴⠥⠤⠦⠦⡼⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣠⢤⠐⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠬⠥⣄⠀⠀⠈⠲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⠀⠀⢀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠦⠤⢤⣄⣀⣠⠤⢿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀
Classic
REKT Not REKT
☐ Not REKT ☑ REKT ☑ REKTangle ☑ SHREKT ☑ REKT-it Ralph ☑ Total REKTall ☑ The Lord of the REKT ☑ The Usual SusREKTs ☑ North by NorthREKT ☑ REKT to the Future ☑ Once Upon a Time in the REKT ☑ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT ☑ LawREKT of Arabia ☑ Tyrannosaurus REKT ☑ eREKTile dysfunction
Classic
Shrek
Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts
twitchquotes:
I like how [insert streamer name] doesn't realize that all his viewers are me on different accounts. Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts
twitch chat
Classic
"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?
"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
Based
Classic
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory
twitchquotes:
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat