I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Unseen donger is the deadliest
Look subs, I have more money than you
twitchquotes:
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] Look subs, I have more money than you
[Μ²Μ
$Μ²Μ
(Μ²Μ
5Μ²Μ
)Μ²Μ
$Μ²Μ
] Look subs, I have more money than you
twitch chat
Classic
plebs vs subs
It was a real life gamer girl
So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. βfuck, Fuck!β I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. βPlease,β I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest Iβve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?
Simps
Classic
How do I get my husband to stop going βGoblin Modeβ during sex?
How do I get my husband to stop going βGoblin Modeβ during sex?
TLDR; My husband says βGoblin Mode activatedβ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says βGoblin Mode offβ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.
I really love my husband and heβs always been great in bed. But recently heβs been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in βGoblin Modeβ. We didnβt really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heβs an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iβve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heβs been a little emotionally unwell. Iβve heard him muttering, βGoblinβ repeatedly when he didnβt notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said βGoblin Mode activatedβ, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iβve ever had, but Iβm worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?
Edit: The problem isnβt the βGoblin Modeβ, itβs that he could be ill
Confessions
Classic
Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly
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