[Copypasta] Ebettle

twitchquotes: I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of e-betting website to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ebettle, the best betting website on the internet. Now available for children.
twitch chat
March 2015

sellout

Classic

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

American Test Passed

twitchquotes: βœ“ Obesity βœ“ πŸ’₯πŸ”« βœ“ Laziness βœ“ Stupidity βœ“ 🌡 βœ“ McDonald's βœ“ Donald Trump βœ“ $70k College βœ“ Bad healthcare βœ“ Bad food βœ“ Bad music βœ“ Fahrenheit βœ“ Pounds βœ“ Inches βœ“ AMERICAN TEST PASSED
twitch chat
September 2015

Classic

EU vs NA

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

Moon emoji blob

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŽ©πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸ‘πŸŒ‘πŸ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸ‘„πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŽ€πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ”πŸ†πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸ‘ πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸ‘ πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•
ascii art
February 2021

Classic

As I type this I have my modded PS2 running a track IP script on your post

You fucked up kid. As I type this I have my modded PS2 running a track IP script on your post. Once I have triangulated your position in the world, my PS3 will release to your router my very own Pandora box virus. You won't notice it at first, but soon your lame PC will begin to work against you in ways you can't even imagine. First your graphics card will start to emit the flu virus, your ram will be uploaded online so everyone will be able to use it, your motherboard will slowly secrete acidic resin which will fry the electronics. The processor will be fine, just to give you hope. You will be left with a husk of a machine, all because you decided to critique my mental ability... was it worth it? Not even your mummy can help you now fuck boy
January 2021

Classic

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