twitchquotes:
What if I... put my Minecraft bed... ๐ณ next to yours... ๐ณ aha ha, just kidding.. ๐ unless.. ? ๐ณ
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER
twitchquotes:
You idly watching the stream, mindlessly wasting yet another evening. You notice 4+ length message in the chat. Grabbing the mouse, hovering over, scrolling up. Reading the message and realizing the pasta has no meaning at all. CTRL+C CTRL+V ENTER. You are retarded.
twitch chat
Classic
Vegan Propaganda
twitchquotes:
Howdy Kripp, my name is Bill and I work in the meat industry. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of all the vegan propaganda you're spreading on this here livestream. You rave about the health benefits of becoming a leaf-muncher, but look at you! You're a pale, scrawny, hallowed-out husk of a man. Hell, you probably can't even lift up a hamburger with those pitiful arms of yours. If you don't stop hating on meat, I'm gonna come by in my truck and force-feed you my "giant sausage!"
Howdy Kripp, my name is Bill and I work in the meat industry. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of all the vegan propaganda you're spreading on this here livestream. You rave about the health benefits of becoming a leaf-muncher, but look at you! You're a pale, scrawny, hallowed-out husk of a man. Hell, you probably can't even lift up a hamburger with those pitiful arms of yours. If you don't stop hating on meat, I'm gonna come by in my truck and force-feed you my "giant sausage!"
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...
It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
Classic
Response to "go fuck yourself"
What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
Classic
Jeff Bezos vs Elon Musk
Jeff Bezos
-Bald
-Exwife took half his networth
-Second richest person
Elon Musk
-Grew back full head of hair
-Has girlfriend, allegedly had a threesome with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne
-Richest person
TSLA > AMZN