[Copypasta] This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

I used to be a real ad
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You've gotten too popular too fast

twitchquotes: gachiGASM =/Μ΅Ν‡ΜΏΜΏ/'ΜΏ'ΜΏΜΏΜΏ ΜΏ ΜΏ monkaS You've gotten too popular too fast. There's only room for one emoticon in this chat
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

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I sexually Identify as

Spooky skeleton

▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░▄▐░░░░ β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–ˆβ–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–„β–β–Œβ–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–β–Œβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘
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Nacho cheese torpedo

twitchquotes: Guys, please don't spam. My daughter made a macaroni dinosaur in school and it passes its days pasted to my laptop screen. When too many messages show up it starts turning into a nacho cheese torpedo. God bless, thanks for understanding.
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