[Copypasta] As a teemo main at a respectably high elo

twitchquotes: As a teemo main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn teemo PM me (im gold 3 24lp) I also do coaching
twitch chat
April 2018

Classic

League of Legends

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
April 2014

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Wagner Opera Topdeckhoffen

twitchquotes: Gᴜᴛᴇɴ Tᴀɢ, Hᴇʀʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ! Mᴇɪɴ Nᴀᴍᴇ ɪsᴛ Pᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴠᴏɴ Pᴀsᴛᴇɴʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Hᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ Dᴇᴜᴛsᴄʜʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴡ Wᴀɢɴᴇʀ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀ Tᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Rᴀɴɪᴀ ɪs Vᴀʟᴋʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟs ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴀs Pᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ. Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴘᴏᴜʀs Oʀᴀɴɢᴇɴsᴀғᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀ ɪɴ sᴋʏ ᴀs ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢʜᴏsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Pʟᴢ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴏɢᴇɴ ᴅᴀᴀɢᴇɴ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

0-3 Hearthstone Arena Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the 0-3 Police, You're coming with us. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing