I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
How do you do, fellow homosexuals?
Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.
Classic
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
Classic
Gachi pose
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣾⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣤⣤⣤⠄⢤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⡾⢏⢠⣶⣶⣾⡑⡀⢸⠋⠁⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠁⠰⣋⢫⢲⡇⠛⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣉⠻⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⢰⣿⣿⣟⣋⣉⣁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣆⣂⡕⠼⠂⠉⣿⣿⡇⢏⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢸⢋⡁⢊⠒⣲⡶⠊⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣦⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⡟⠄⡆⢸⣧⣾⣶⣤⣤⣾⡿⣿⣿⠿⡻⣻⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣥⣾⣿⠿⣛⠅⢰⣗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣶⣶⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⠲⠿⣵⣿⣟⢅⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡟⠋⣠⣤⣤⣤⣍⡑⠂⠬⢉⣾⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⢶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⢉⣁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠟⢁⣠⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠉⠿⣿⡇⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠹⠇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
Forsen
Classic
KappaPride
5 men 9 eyebrows 1 dream
twitchquotes:
This is Gambit ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º( ͡° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °)ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ 5 MEN 9 EYEBROWS 1 DREAM
twitch chat