Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Shrek is love. Shrek is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.ο»Ώ
Shrek
Classic
Just taking my money for a walk
twitchquotes:
( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)β―β²___[Μ²Μ
$Μ²Μ
(Μ²Μ
5)Μ²Μ
$Μ²Μ
] Don't mind me subs, just taking my money for a walk
twitch chat
Classic
plebs vs subs
NA is so ba... I should brush my teeth
twitchquotes:
NA is so ba... maybe i should brush my teeth NA is s... maybe i should floss fk give me dentures
NA is so ba... maybe i should brush my teeth NA is s... maybe i should floss fk give me dentures
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
EU vs NA
You've gotten too popular too fast
twitchquotes:
=/Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ/'ΜΏ'ΜΏΜΏΜΏ ΜΏ ΜΏ 
You've gotten too popular too fast. There's only room for one emoticon in this chat
twitch chat
Classic
Spooky skeleton
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