Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐๐๐
Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeโs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out ๐๐๐
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโs boyfriend.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Rank one is the other way
twitchquotes:
um... e-excuse me mr. imaqtpie... r-rank one is the other way 
um... e-excuse me mr. imaqtpie... r-rank one is the other way
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
What is inside that taco? Reynad's tournament wins
twitchquotes:
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 
0 OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS 
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 0 OH NO IT'S REYNAD'S TOURNAMENT WINS
twitch chat
Reynad
Classic
Hearthstone
BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY
twitchquotes:
BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY LEAGUE OF LEGENDS I CANNOT PLAY EU STAR PLAYERS I HAVE TO PAY PROPER HEALTHCARE AN OCEAN AWAY YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT IM NA
BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY LEAGUE OF LEGENDS I CANNOT PLAY EU STAR PLAYERS I HAVE TO PAY PROPER HEALTHCARE AN OCEAN AWAY YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT IM NA
twitch chat
Classic
EU vs NA
Gr8 b8 m8
twitchquotes:
Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8, I hope you r8 8/8 .. m8.
twitch chat