Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
I dream of becoming a carrot
twitchquotes:
I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
Classic
MSFT Infinite Money Glitch πππ
Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good βol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies π
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeβs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out πππ
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeβs boyfriend.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Only the chosen one can stack these cans!
twitchquotes:
Only the chosen one can stack these cans! 
but wait can you do three cans! !!
Only the chosen one can stack these cans! but wait can you do three cans! !!
twitch chat
Classic
Somewhere in a parallel universe, Reynad isn't salty
twitchquotes:
β
γγβ
Β° βΎ β ΒΈ. ΒΈ γβ
γ :.γ . β’ β Β° β
γ .γ *γ.γ.γγΒΈ .γγ Β° γΒΈ. * β ΒΈ .γ...somewhereγγγΒ° βΎ Β° γΒΈ. β ΒΈ .γγβ
γΒ° :.γ . β’ Β° γ .γ *γ:.γ.in a parallel universe* β ΒΈ γγγγΒ° βΎ Β°β γ. * ΒΈ.γγγβ
γβ
Β° . .γγγγ.γβΎ Β°β γ. * β ΒΈ ..Reynad...Β° βΎγβ
Β°β ΒΈ .γγγβ
γΒ° :.γ . β’ β Β° β
γ .γ * Isn't salty βΎγβ
Β°β ΒΈ .γγγβ
γΒ°
twitch chat
Reynad
Classic
Hearthstone
salty
Which KogMaw playstyle is better?
twitchquotes:
Imaqtpie, I've noticed in Korea they tend to use a mix of magic and physical damage on Kog Maw. Meanwhile you seem to be using mostly true damage. Which playstyle is better?
twitch chat
imaqtpie