[Copypasta] I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

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(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

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I sexually Identify as

Don't ever smoke

twitchquotes: My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your stream gave me cancer anyway.
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January 2020

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Troll face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘
November 2014

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Based? Based on what?

Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly
December 2020

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Based

Watch out I'm driving (Truck)

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–Œβ–β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œ ───▄▄ β–ˆ Kappa WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–Œ β–€(@)β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€(@)(@)β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€(@)β–€
February 2017

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