Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good βol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies π
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeβs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out πππ
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeβs boyfriend.
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More Classic Copypastas
hey there buddy chum pal friend
twitchquotes:
hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...
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Classic
Traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out who asked
β β β β β β .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎ .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ. γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβ¦ γγγγγ,γγγγγγγ. β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β γγγγγγγγγγγ. .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ. γγβ¦β γβββγγγ,γγγγγγγγγ β γγγγβ γγ, β β β β β β β β β β β β .γγγγγβγγβ γγγβ .γ Λγγγβ γβ ββγγ,γγγγγγ. . β γγβ ββγγγγγβ β¦β γ . .γγγγ.γγγβ . ΛγγγγγγγγοΎγγγγγ. .β γγβ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ ββ , *γγβ . .γγγγγγγγγγβ β¦ Λγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ .β γγγγγγγγγγ γγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγ. β¦β γβββγγγ,γγββββ β γγ .γγγγγβγγβ γγγ. Λγγγβ γβ ββγγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγ, .γγγ β βγγββββγγγγγβγγγγγ. Traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out who askedβ β β β β β β .γγγγγγγγγγβ β β β¦ β β γγγγγγγγγγγγγγβ β β β β * β β β .γγγγγγγγγγ. β β β β β β β β β β β β β¦β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎ .γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
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Who Asked?
Priced in
Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
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WallStreetBets
Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian
twitchquotes:
Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
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Kripp
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NA COMING THROUGH LUL
twitchquotes:
NA COMING THROUGH 
GO TO SCHOOL RISK LIFE 10 IQ PRESIDENT GETTING MY SISTER PREGNANT WALL THINK THEY SAVED WORLD WAR NA EDUCATION GOVERMENT SO BAD HAD TO SHUT DOWN 45
GO TO SCHOOL RISK LIFE 10 IQ PRESIDENT GETTING MY SISTER PREGNANT WALL THINK THEY SAVED WORLD WAR NA EDUCATION GOVERMENT SO BAD HAD TO SHUT DOWN 45
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