[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Xi Jinping Tanner

twitchquotes: So youโ€™re going by Kripparian now, nerd? Haha what up, itโ€™s Xi Jinping from China. Me and the other dictators used to give you a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I see your social credit score is still low. Remember Mei Ling, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, I have her organs now. I forcefully oppress over 1 billion people a year, and run a corrupt government. I guess some things never change, huh? Nice catching up, pathetic..
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

TSM, also known as "Tossed Six Million"

twitchquotes: TSM, also known as "Tossed Six Million" is a North American investment firm often known for their innovative investment strategy of burning up money and failing to return any meaningful results.
twitch chat
February 2021

League of Legends

Zeus hates Kripp's casualness

twitchquotes: Hแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs Zแด‡แดœs, Gแดแด… แดา“ OสŸสแดแด˜แดœs. I สœแด€แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ษชษดา“แดส€แดแด‡แด… ส™ส แดส sแด‡ส€แด แด€ษดแด›s แด›สœแด€แด› สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ แด…ษชsษขส€แด€แด„ษชษดษข แดส สœแดสŸส สŸแด€ษดแด… แดกษชแด›สœ สแดแดœส€ แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸษดแด‡ss. Yแดแดœ สœแด€แด แด‡ two แดแดส€แด‡ แด…แด€สs แด›แด sแดœแดแดแดษด ส™แด€แด„แด‹ สแดแดœส€ สœแด€ส€แด…แด„แดส€แด‡ ส€แดแดแด›s แดส€ แด‡สŸsแด‡ I'แด ษขแดษชษดษข แด›แด แด€ษดษดษชสœษชสŸแด€แด›แด‡ สแดแดœส€ แด„แด€ษดแด€แด…ษชแด€ษด แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€ แดกษชแด›สœ แดส +25% แด…แดษข แด›แด สŸษชษขสœแด›ษดษชษดษข sแด‹ษชสŸสŸ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Sanic Hegehog

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„ โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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July 2015

After a good game in csgo, i added him

twitchquotes: After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear. Turns out he was vegan. Don't trust this guy.
twitch chat
September 2017

CSGO

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