I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
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Hello crip, this is uggernakkerweer-taguanga from Thailand
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Kripp
KFC
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣋⣭⣥⣭⣭⣍⡉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠠⠶⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⢀⡴⢊⣴⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠙⡟⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿
⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠰⠟⠛⠛⠿⠿⠟⢋⢉⠍⢩⣠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿
⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠁⣑⣬⣤⡀⣾⣦⣶⣾⣖⣼⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿
⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⠟⠰⠻⠿⣣⡙⠿⣿⠋⠄⢀⡀⣀⠄⣀⣀⢀⣀⣀⢸
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⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢧⣄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣾⠟⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⢸⡄⠄⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⣼
⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡸⣿⠒⠄⠈⠛⠄⠁⢹⡟⣾⡇⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣧⣠⣴⣦⠄⠄⢸⣷⡹⣧⣖⡔⠄⠱⣮⣻⣷⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⣷⠘⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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98% of memes aren't even remotely funny
twitchquotes:
Did 👏 You 👈 Know? 💭 98% of 💦 memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even 🌃 remotely funny, 😄 but 🍑 rather 
an 👹 indication of 💦 the 👏 low 📉 intelligence, absence of 💦 empathy, and 👏 devolution of 💦 modern 🖥 man. 👨
an 👹 indication of 💦 the 👏 low 📉 intelligence, absence of 💦 empathy, and 👏 devolution of 💦 modern 🖥 man. 👨
twitch chat
⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!
So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
Coronavirus
COVID
Vaccines
Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom
twitchquotes:
"Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
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Kripp