I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
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Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
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Kripp
I fucking hate Stuart Little
twitchquotes:
I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
Mods are the true evil
twitchquotes:
As a Pleb, I understand and, indeed, respect the social order. But I believe Subs and Plebs must work together and realize Mods are the true evil in this world. With the power of SPAM we will show the Mods their true place in the hierarchy: crushed beneath 
s and 
s
s and s
twitch chat
Trick2g
plebs vs subs
We have you surrounded now Dansgame-kun
It's Team Rocket COPYPASTE!
twitchquotes:
It's spamming at you loud and clear. Through the Chat! Past the mods! In your ear! Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace. Dodging bans, putting spam in its place. A troll by any other name is just as sweet. When everything's worse, our work is complete. Copy! Paste! Putting the Twitch admins in their place... It's Team Rocket COPYPASTE!
twitch chat