[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Poggersception

⠄⠰⠛⠋⢉⣡⣤⣄⡉⠓⢦⣀⠙⠉⠡⠔⠒⠛⠛⠛⠶⢶⣄⠘⢿⣷⣤⡈⠻⣧ ⢀⡔⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠉⠁⡀⠐⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡈⠳⢄⣹⣿⣿⣾⣿ ⣼⠁⢠⡄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⡐⠁⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⡀⠈⠄⠄⣀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⡇⠈⠛⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢉⡓⠚⠛⠛⠋⣉⣩⣤⣤⣀⠑⠤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠈⠙⠛⠋⣭⣭⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢠⡍⠉⠉⢠⣤⣴⠚⢩⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣭⣭⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣴⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣮⣭⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠙⣿⡄⠄⠄⢀⡤⠬⢭⣝⣒⢂⠭⣉⠻⠿⣷⣶⣦⣭⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠸⣿⡇⠄⠸⣎⣁⣾⠿⠉⢀⠇⣸⣿⣿⢆⡉⠹⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⢀⡶⠶⠶⠾⠿⠮⠭⠭⢭⣥⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⣭⣙⣹⢙⣰⡎⣿⢏⣡⣾⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⠄⢿⠄⠄⠈⣿⠉⠉⣻⣿⡷⣰⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠘⠿⠤⠤⠿⠿⠿⢤⣤⣤⡿⣃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠘⢿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣾⡿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
June 2021

Pepe

Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hello Kripp, my name is Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ We're gonna need some "Insurance money" or we're gonna break off your legs and cut off your dongerino. Pls no copy pasterino my frappuchino
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Unhappy Gordon Ramsey

⠁⡼⠋⠀⣆⠀⠀⣰⣿⣫⣾⢿⣿⣿⠍⢠⠠⠀⠀⢀⠰⢾⣺⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⣥⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠠⢻⢬⠁⣠⣾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠱⠏⡉⠙⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⢳⠀⢰⡖⠀⠀⠈⠀⣺⢰⣿⢻⣾⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣼⡆⢸⣿⣧⠀ ⠈⠀⠜⠈⣀⣔⣦⢨⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⣼⠛⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢋⡿⡿⣯⣭⡟⣟⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡘⠀ ⡀⠐⠀⠀⠀⣿⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣉⢽⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⢳⠀⠄⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⠉⠉⠉⠛⣻⢛⣿⠛⠃⠀⠐⠛⠻⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣾⠄⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⢀⠀⢀⡄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡠⣴⣎⣀⣠⣠⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣧⠀⣴⣄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣖⣶⣬⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣶⣈⡯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣹⢧⣿⣿⣿⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀ ⠹⣿⣿⣧⢌⢽⣻⢿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣠⡘⠿⠟⠛⠛⠟⠛⣧⡈⠻⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⣷⡿⣽⠶⡾⢿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣤⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⣄⣠⣼⡿⢷⢀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⠌⣈⣏⣝⠽⡿⣷⣾⣏⣀⣉⣉⣀⣀⣀⣠⣠⣄⡸⣾⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⡿⣿⣧⡐⠄⠱⣿⣺⣽⢟⣿⣿⢿⣿⣍⠉⢀⣀⣐⣼⣯⡗⠟⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⣿⠀⣿⣿⣴⡀⠂⠘⢹⣭⡂⡚⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⢿⡿⠿⢁⣴⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤
February 2022

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Why are Chess Players so Racist?

Every time I here a chess player talk about race, they always say stuff like “I’m so glad that I am white this game” or “He was black, so he didn’t stand much of a chance that game”. Seriously, what is up with this blatant racism guys??? It’s getting so bad I am even hearing this sort of shit from some Indian players as well. Your color doesn’t mean anything, you are still the same person!!!!!!
August 2021

Chess

Text-to-Speech Playing