[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
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I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper. Ever since I was a child I dreamed of stalking people in the dead of the night, making an erotic hissing noise, and then spewing my particles all over them. People say to me that a person being a monster in a dying Swedish pixel game is impossible and Iโ€™m more autistic than a Fortnite default, but I donโ€™t care, Iโ€™m beautiful. Iโ€™m having a doctor fill me with gunpowder and implementing green and black pigments into my skin. From now on I want you guys to call me "Creepus Explodusโ€ and respect my right to appear on retarded children's backpacks and sweaters. If you canโ€™t accept me youโ€™re a mob-phobe and need to check your entity privilege. Thank you all for being so understanding.
twitch chat
March 2019

I sexually Identify as

Investigating criminal codenamed Forsen

twitchquotes: แด€แด›แด›แด‡ษดแด›ษชแดษด แด›แดกษชแด›แด„สœ แดœsแด‡ส€s: แด›สœษชs ษชs ษชษดแด›แด‡ส€แด˜แดสŸ แด€ษขแด‡ษดแด› ษขษชษดแด แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแด แด€ษดแด… ษช'แด สœแด‡ส€แด‡ ษชษดแด แด‡sแด›ษชษขแด€แด›ษชษดษข sแด‡ส€ษชแด€สŸ ส€แด€แด˜ษชsแด› แด€ษดแด… ษดแด€แดขษช sสแดแด˜แด€แด›สœษชแดขแด‡ส€ แด„แดแด…แด‡ษดแด€แดแด‡แด… า“แดส€sแด‡ษด. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ สœแด‡สŸแด˜ sแด˜ส€แด‡แด€แด… แด€แดกแด€ส€แด‡ษดแด‡ss แดา“ แด›สœษชs แด…แด€ษดษขแด‡ส€แดแดœs แด„ส€ษชแดษชษดแด€สŸ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are submissive and breedable

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are on your bed, and let's suppose that you are also submissive and breedable. Now, let's say you are a male. Statistically speaking, humans, that are submissive and breedable tend to be femboys, that's a fact (which doesn't about your feelings). Hypothetically under these circumstances, it would be statistically speaking uncontroversial to assume you would be wearing thigh highs (which would boost your breedability factor by about 20%). Now let's assume you are an SJW SOCIALIST LIBTARD, and let's say I was you, would it not be under these circumstances, the only correct course of action for you to take to ABSOLUTELY WRECK AND DESTROY me (in a debate) in bed?
April 2022

Ben Shapiro

Applejack

โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘.โ€™.โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“
November 2014

UR DONGIN A GRET JOB KROPP

twitchquotes: ใƒฝ(โ—‰โ—กโ—”)๏พ‰ UR DONGIN A GRET JOB KROPP ใƒฝ(โ—‰โ—กโ—”)๏พ‰
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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