[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Biden transplants his brain into the United States' neural network database

thats very true. if you vote trump, there is no nuance in that little flipping nugget of a brain of yours. you are a simpleton, comparable to the gum stuck on the heel of my shoe- dirtying an institution which needs to be scraped clean. thankfully, your time has come. the antics end with joe biden, who has squandered the far-right and united a nation, and once he transplants his beautiful old slimy man brain into the United States' neural network database (which is encrypted and connected to the internet, along with google's whole database, so yes, he WILL know what you're doing) we can finally live in a safe country.
July 2022

Politics

Joe Biden

Donald Trump

Hang out in an MSN room

twitchquotes: Hiyo there krippery pip! Philo here, just wondering if you'd ever wanna hang out in an "msn" room as the young folks like to call it, anyway please get back to me old pal ol buddyo, heres my fax! 0512 341 301
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

valorant is not csgo

twitchquotes: Valorant is not csgo Everywhere I go I see things like valorant vs csgo, which is harder, which is better, which is more competitive/fun, and its confusing, yes valorant is a tac shooter, and has similar mechanics, but this is just another example of what people did with overwatch vs tf2 especially on release, it was all pointless because overwatch ISNT tf2 and valorant ISNT csgo regardless of their similar mechanics, valorant requires immensly more teamwork, and has whacky tools csgo has never seen, like stim beacon, sage’s entire kit, cyphers entire kit, sovas entire kit, breach fault line and aftershock, and EVERYONES ultimate, its never been seen before in a tac shooter, valorant isnt better/worse, harder/easier, its different, and always will be
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

CSGO

A boy asked a girl in a library

twitchquotes: A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"? The girl Answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!! All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed. After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said to him I study psychology and I know what man is think, I guess you felt embarrassed,right? The guy responded with a loud voice :$300 for one night That's too much!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone guilty.
twitch chat
August 2020

Roach boy =)

twitchquotes: no stories need bro =) yur on welfare not me=p so how is no job going for ya anyway? bottom feeding like your parents before u =) atta boy! stay at the bottom =) be a good lil roach. my job wouldnt be such a joke if it wasnt for u fools =) keep me comfy at the top =) its good to sit above roaches like u =)
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing