[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ or the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hey Kripp, You take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ - you stay in Dongerland and I show you how deep the arena-hole goes. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

among us got banned at daycare

Fun fact among us got banned at the daycare where I work at Turns out, you know how youtube has the autoplay thing ? Well one day the kids were watching among us songs on YT when autoplay changed it to the among us twerking video, 10 hour version to be exact, and ALL the kids tried twerking So thats how among us got banned
July 2022

Among Us / Amogus

We found this new site called CSGO Lotto

twitchquotes: We found this new site called CSGO Lotto—so I'll link it down in the description if you guys want to check it out. We were betting on it today and I won a pot of like $69 or something like that, so it was a pretty small pot, but it was like the coolest feeling ever. I ended up following them on Twitter and stuff, and they hit me up and they're talking to me about potentially doing like a skin sponsorship.
twitch chat
August 2016
TmarTn

CSGO

The mighty DONGER

twitchquotes: DansGame ╱ He is faster ᕙ DansGame ╱ He is stronger ᕙ DansGame ╱ Who is he? ᕙ DansGame ╱ The mighty DONGER ᕙ DansGame
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

I want to impregnate Belle Delphine so bad

December 2020

Belle Delphine

Text-to-Speech Playing