I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I will tell Michael to ban you all
twitchquotes:
Hello twitch chat. This is michaels mother speaking. Please stop the spam in the chat. I can't read the amazing conversations that you are having about my son. Thanks. Don't copy and paste this to spam more or I will tell Michael to ban you all.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Hey, I noticed you were a female
Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also
intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this
goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the Pakistan
Official discord. I am quite popular around here in this server, so if you
require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour,
day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a
romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in
me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to
just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I
will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider
me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some
video games together some time. I see you play mini games? I am a
mini-game aficionado, so I would be happy to assist you in games.
Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on
that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)
Simps
SCP Jerma
Item #: SCP-985-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance.
Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state.
SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment.
Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact".
SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on โโ/โโ/201โ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
Jerma985
NFT's are racist
Well, believe me, it's crystal clear: NFT's are racist.
You don't believe this, huh? Well, I'm going to explain it to you.
First off, the name. The The Bored Ape Yacht Club wants you to believe that "NFT" stands for Non-fungible token. This name might be an accurate name for the images of apes that are sold, but it also stands for "n****r(s) for trade". This is absolutely not okay.
NFT's have been fully covered on national news and they usual tell you that images of apes are being traded. What they don't tell you, is that those apes usually have big lips, golden chains and rings and contains an awful lot of stereotypes. NFT's use apes as a methaphor for the stereotypical black communty.
This can be explained: NFT's were invented on 4chan. 4chan is the breedplace of 99% of evil on the internet. The /pol/ communty, already infamous for it's racism and anti-semitism. created NFT's because they want to insult black people. Using complex trading methods on specific websites on the internet and needing a fast connection to the world wide web they try to exclude as many black people (mainly the African continent).
It even goes beyond that. Neo-Nazi artists, like Ben Garisson and StoneToss have recently used this way of trading to sell their art full of hate. They can do this because NFT's are completely anonymous.
Republicans and right-wingers say they screenshot NFT's. This is not an harmless joke, they try to demonstrate how 'worthless' NFT's (abbreviation for: N****r(s) for Trade) are.
Stop NFT's. Make a hashtag and cancel 'em. Cut off people that trade NFT's. Stop racism.
NFTs
Cryptocurrency
Your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST
twitchquotes:
Listen up you fucking assholes, your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST if it weren't for MTG, the fucking king of card games. It was the first and the best. Literally everything you love would not be here if Richard Garfield didn't create MTG in 1993. Pokemon, Yugioh, Hearthstone ALL WOULD NOT EXIST. So THINK TWICE next time you call this is a Hearthstone copy...
twitch chat
Kripp