[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene

twitchquotes: I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene. They use the local community college to host this and TOLD ME BY EMAIL IF I CAME THERE THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW ME IN. This was out of nowhere so I immediately called the TO, who told me why. He said it was because I was frequently toxic and angry. He said that I yell at players and make them uncomfortable and scared, and that a girl quit because of me. While I DO sometimes get frustrated and vocalize it, so do many other people I am simply being discriminated against my voice is naturally deeper than most. also the truth is a girl never quit that is a complete lie, she was just butthurt that she was worst than everyone there. I'm so fucking irate. I've been a member of this community FOR YEARS and just now I'm a nuisance? I am entitled to a certain level of RESPECT for being a veteran player. I'm looking into finding a lawyer who get me unbanned. There MUST be a law that prevents people from arbitrarily banning others from certain locations without written documents proving it (the TO just SAID I was banned he did not provide any evidence.) The TO isn't rich or anything so I don't think I would have to ask a lot from him, I think he'd break under just pressure of lawsuit.
twitch chat
January 2019

Super Smash Bros

WutFace alternative

⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠱⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣛⡩⣩⣭⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠞⣛⣛⣛⡲⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⡾⣡⣾⣿⣷⣹⣿⣿⡿⣪⡻⠟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⣼⡇⣿⣻⣿⠟⡛⢿⣿⣾⣿⡇⢰⣍⢻⡿⠛⢿⣿⡭⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣧⣄⡀⣿⡇⣮⣽⣿⣮⣉⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⡸⣿⣿⣆⠛⣰⣿⣾⡿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣇⡼⣄⣿⣿⡄⠙⢿⣏⣿⣿⡮⠁⣉⣾⣷⡈⠃⢿⣿⣬⡭⠝⣀⣿⠄⠄⠐ ⡆⡇⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠓⠛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣙⣛⠓⠾⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠙ ⠁⡇⣞⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⢴⣆⢣ ⠸⣇⡻⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠼⣣⣾ ⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠈⣿⡫⡼⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⣀⣠⡀⠄⠄⠴⠾⠿⠿⠶⠶⣦⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⠯⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⢒⠤⣅⡶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣍⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡐⠫⣉⡿⣬⡞⢿⣿⢯⠽⣶⡽⢟⣛⢖⣨⣛⠛⢃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo

twitchquotes: Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo. My Skills Are Getting Stronker And I Wish To Join Team "TMS". My Land Has Endured Many Harsh Winters And My Cow Died Last Fall. I Am How You Say, "Hard In A Place," And Am Looking to One Day Be Best At Heartstone For My Mother Says I Have The Heart Of The Carderinos.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

EU "Expect Unsatisfaction” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport

EU "Expect Unsatisfaction” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport. Since they gave up on the LoL Worlds Championship, they are investing in Speedruns. In particular they are current worldrecord holders in Airport no wins Any %
October 2021

EU vs NA

BOTH ULTIMATE AND MELEE ARE HYPE

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan BOTH ULTIMATE AND MELEE ARE HYPE FeelsGoodMan BOTH ULTIMATE AND MELEE ARE HYPE FeelsGoodMan BOTH ULTIMATE AND MELEE ARE HYPE
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing