[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)

The other day, it was โ€œtake your kid to work dayโ€ at my dadโ€™s job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldnโ€™t help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, โ€œIs this the Among Us but real??โ€ My dad replied โ€œNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.โ€ As we entered the building, my dad said โ€œSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.โ€ He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said โ€œDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?โ€ However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled โ€œExecutive Meeting Roomโ€. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me โ€œHey buddy, are you lost?โ€ I noticed that his nametag read โ€œHugh Johnson, CFOโ€. โ€œDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?โ€, I asked. โ€œNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!โ€ He was yelling at me. So I said โ€œYouโ€™re sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have aโ€ฆ HUGE JOHNSON?! Thatโ€™s funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!โ€ I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said โ€œWanna play some Among Us guys?โ€ The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said โ€œYoung man, go back to the first floor now!โ€ But the sexy woman I just couldnโ€™t listen to as I admired her. โ€œNo, because you have big tits.โ€ Her jaw dropped, and she said, โ€œYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!โ€ She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said โ€œDo you like what you see?โ€ Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. โ€œIโ€™m so hot~~~~โ€ I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldnโ€™t find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

No, fellow Twitch chat community member, I will NOT press 1

twitchquotes: No, fellow Twitch chat community member, I will NOT press 1, spam Kะฐppa, hold my donger, aggravate mods, or copy paste your messages. This is a community of upstanding individuals, such as myself, who wish to keep this chat in a state of peace and clarity.
twitch chat
February 2016
Reynad

ABORTION TEST

twitchquotes: ABORTION TEST If the arms โŠฟ?โŠพ touch the coat hanger, you are ARRESTED โŽ monkaS โŽ 
twitch chat
July 2022

Surprised bird

โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„
ascii art
January 2017

Eredar Lord of the Casual Legion

twitchquotes: ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผฆ๏ผก๏ผฃ๏ผฅ ๏ผซ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผฐ๏ผฐ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผš ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ๏ผฅ๏ผค๏ผก๏ผฒ ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผฒ๏ผค ๏ผฏ๏ผฆ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผฃ๏ผก๏ผณ๏ผต๏ผก๏ผฌ ๏ผฌ๏ผฅ๏ผง๏ผฉ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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