[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 Β°C. From now on I want you guys to call me β€œSol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2015

I sexually Identify as

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: 𝔻𝕠 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 π•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•• π•Ÿπ• π•₯ π•€π•‘π•’π•žπ•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒π•₯ 𝕀𝕠 π•žπ•¦π•”π•™? 𝕀'π•ž 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝π•ͺ π•₯𝕣π•ͺπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•₯𝕠 𝕑𝕒π•ͺ 𝕒π•₯π•₯π•–π•Ÿπ•₯π•šπ• π•Ÿ π•₯𝕠 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕀π•₯π•£π•–π•’π•ž π•’π•Ÿπ•• π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕒𝕣𝕖 π••π•šπ•€π•₯𝕣𝕒𝕔π•₯π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•žπ•–. 𝕀𝕗 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝π•ͺ 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦π•₯ π•₯𝕙𝕖 π•’π•¦π•’π•π•šπ•₯π•ͺ 𝕠𝕗 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕀π•₯π•£π•–π•’π•ž 𝕠𝕣 π•„π• π• π•Ÿ π•™π•šπ•žπ•€π•–π•π•— π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕀π•₯𝕠𝕑 π•₯𝕙𝕖 π•€π•‘π•’π•žπ•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•’π•Ÿπ•• 𝕔𝕠𝕑π•ͺπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•’π•Ÿπ•• 𝕑𝕒𝕀π•₯π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜. 𝔾𝕠𝕕, 𝕀 𝕀𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕣 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕒𝕣𝕖 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕀π•₯ 𝕑𝕒𝕣π•₯ 𝕠𝕗 π•₯π•¨π•šπ•₯𝕔𝕙. β„‚π• π•¦π•π••π•Ÿ'π•₯ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕦𝕀π•₯ π•₯𝕣π•ͺ π•₯𝕠 𝕓𝕖 π•žπ•’π•₯𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 π• π•Ÿπ•”π•– π•šπ•Ÿ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦𝕣 π•π•šπ•—π•–?
twitch chat
February 2018
MOONMOON

Your league knowledge is insane Jack and LS fanfic

"Your league knowledge is insane." Jack said, as he slipped his feminine hand into LS's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to mate me?" protests LS, as Jack blushes, the boyish figure undressed before LS. "Weak gank attempt, Jack." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards LS places his Renekton into Jack's bottom lane.
April 2022
imls

League of Legends

Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

sellout

Classic

We are not the same (Amogus edition)

We are not the same For instance You say kid πŸ‘¦ we say mini-crewmate You say earth 🌎 we say Mira-hq You say suspiciousπŸ₯·, we say sussy bakas You say β€œhe was murdered so I called the police”, we say β€œEMERGENCY MEETING” You say β€œthe joke is dead” we say Among us poop mod 2021 (still working) (free) (not click bait)
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing