[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020

Here πŸ’¦ CUMS πŸ’¦ SANTA (Christmas Emoji Pasta)

Here πŸ’¦CUMSπŸ’¦ πŸŽ…πŸ½Santa Claus,πŸŽ…πŸ½ here πŸ’¦CUMSπŸ’¦ πŸŽ…πŸ½Santa Claus,πŸŽ…πŸ½ right down πŸ‘©πŸ½πŸ‘ΈπŸ½slutty girl lane!πŸ‘©πŸ½πŸ‘ΈπŸ½ ❌🚫❌🚫STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!❌🚫❌🚫 Is your πŸ‘¨πŸ»πŸ‘¨πŸ»daddyπŸ‘¨πŸ»πŸ‘¨πŸ» not giving you enough πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦cummies?!πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ Hold up,πŸ™…πŸ½πŸ™…πŸ½πŸ™…πŸ½ ho! It's πŸ’¦πŸ’¦cummyπŸ’¦πŸ’¦ β„οΈπŸ’¦β„οΈSEASON!β„οΈπŸ’¦β„οΈ Pushβœ‹πŸ½βœ‹πŸ½ that πŸ‘¨πŸ»πŸ‘¨πŸ»daddyπŸ‘¨πŸ»πŸ‘¨πŸ» to the ⏩⏩side⏩⏩ and let a πŸ‘ŒπŸ½NEWπŸ‘ŒπŸ½ father in 🏑YOUR CHIMNEY!! 🏑 πŸŽ…πŸ½πŸŽ…πŸ½πŸŽ…πŸ½Father CHRISTMAS,πŸŽ…πŸ½πŸŽ…πŸ½πŸŽ…πŸ½ the πŸ‘‘πŸ‘‘KINGπŸ‘‘πŸ‘‘ of πŸ’¦cummies!πŸ’¦ That's right,πŸ‘πŸΌ he's been making πŸ‘§πŸ½littleπŸ‘§πŸ½ πŸ‘§πŸ½girlsπŸ‘§πŸ½ squishy for 6️⃣ CENTURIES. Don't ❎❎ mind the old saying; he ONLY makes the πŸ’¦πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜ˆNAUGHTIESTπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ’¦girls ☁️squishy☁️! So send this to all the 😼nastiest😼 πŸ‘§πŸ½girlsπŸ‘§πŸ½ you know and share❗️Those❗️Cummies❗️Get 0️⃣ back and you're a basic πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘coal-slinging bitch.πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ Get 5️⃣ back and you get πŸ‘…eatenπŸ‘… like πŸͺcookiesπŸͺand πŸ‘…πŸ’¦slurpedπŸ’¦πŸ‘… like 🍼milk!🍼 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and πŸŽ…πŸ½Santa'sπŸŽ…πŸ½ big πŸ†πŸ†COCKπŸ†πŸ† will grow⏫⏫ 3️⃣ sizes inside of you!😫😩 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you become Mrs. Claus, and get πŸ‘πŸŒπŸ†yummy πŸ’πŸ­πŸΌnummy πŸΌπŸ’¦β˜οΈsquishyπŸΌπŸ’¦β˜οΈ πŸ’§πŸ’§cummiesπŸ’§πŸ’§ until next β©πŸŒ¨β˜ƒChristmas!πŸŒ¨β˜ƒ
December 2021

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Please use the code Tempo to save 3% off...

twitchquotes: BibleThump Andrey Yanuk otherwise known as Reynad has passed away this Saturday's afternoon. He was ambushed by a group of dongers in an alley, and stabbed with a kniferino made out of a salt shaker. His last words were "please use the code "Tempo" to save 3% off the funeral costs and bury me in my tempostorm tshirt". Rest in peace pepperoni cappuccino pistachio bro. You shall be missed. Please no copy pasterino cappuccino
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

sellout

Getting meme'd

twitchquotes: Kripp my friend bought your Stupid Lizard shirt and he told me he got meme'd! I can't believe you'd go out in the world and do that? Meme someone. I'll have you know my best dog was meme'd back in 'Nam. It ruined him. RIP dog
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Pikachu

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€
September 2016

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing