I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I want to bang the Animal Crossing Dog
happE
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⣟⣛⣡⣤⣤⣁⣀⣄⣉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⡿⠻⠛⠭⠿⡿⠯⣭⣟⡻⢿⣶⣦⣀⢙
⣿⣿⣿⣯⣝⣛⣛⣛⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⢇⣨⢶⣿⣶⡾⢶⣶⡶⢤⣤⣤⣀⠟⢉⣛⣓
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⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢋⣀⣒⣀⣐⣫⡍⠛⠿⠪⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⢏⠀⣿⣏⣠⣽⣍⣍⣡⣾⣿⣿⣟⣋⣋⣓⣓⣼⣥⣤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡌⢦⢻⣮⡁⣼⣿⢭⣭⣉⣭⣭⣭⣉⣭⢛⡉⣛⢛⡛⠛⣠⡌⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⣿⣿⡗⠦⣀⣀⢀⠐⠒⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣠⣾⣿⢏⣾⢏⢽⣻⣿⣿
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Forsen
Emote
My dad works at twitch dude
twitchquotes:
My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor
twitchquotes:
I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable. This "man" is the epitome of eternal.
twitch chat
TenZ
Valorant
A girl... AND a gamer?
A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~