[Copypasta] A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
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There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Kripp's sonnerino from the future

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏɴɴᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ, ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴ Gʀᴇᴇᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ's ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇᴅ. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴀ ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ʟᴇɢᴀʟ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ᴀɪᴅs ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴏɴ ɪɴғᴇᴄᴛ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴜʀᴇ ɪs ᴀ ᴘʜᴇʀᴏᴍᴏɴᴇ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ. Pᴀᴘᴀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ! Pʟs ɴᴏ ғᴇᴛᴛᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴀʟғᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴇᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kripp, this is your psychiatrist

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘsʏᴄʜɪᴀᴛʀɪsᴛ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴇʟᴀʙᴏʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ 40 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴀɢᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛɪᴇs, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴠᴇ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ʜᴀғᴜ. sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏᴏɴ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

I've been making memes since I was 11

twitchquotes: Lɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴜᴅᴇ, I'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇᴍᴇs sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 11, ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 17, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs 20. Iᴠᴇ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴇᴛᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ 6 ʏᴇᴀʀs ɴᴏᴡ. Gᴇᴛ ᴀ ɢʀɪᴘ ᴜ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ ɴᴇʀᴅ :^)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Tired of getting Sniped?

twitchquotes: Tired of getting Sniped? No problem! Here at Sniper Deflectors™ we can shield your Arena Queue from incoming Snipers with our new patent-pending SniperShield™ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming sniper shots right back to the sniper-guild recruiter (definitely not DRIVEZY), causing them to effectively Snipe themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

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