[Copypasta] A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Shut your eyes and listen closely

twitchquotes: Shut your eyes and listen closely. Do you feel it? The gentle clicks of a finely crafted keyboard massaging your eardrums? The soft soothing moan that comes from a man that has seen the inside of his attic and understands many things? The jovial chuckles awakening memories of the trips with the family to your uncle's barn on a mild summer evening when you were a kid? That is what Kripp's stream is to me. I am at peace.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Making poops of different shapes

twitchquotes: Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴘᴏᴏᴘ, I ᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴘɪɴɢ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴍᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ ᴏʟᴅ Pʟᴀʏ Dᴏʜ ғᴜɴ sᴇᴛ. I ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴀɴᴜs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs ɪɴ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ sʜᴀᴘᴇs. Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. I'ᴍ ᴀɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ, ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs sʜᴀᴘᴇᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ sᴛᴀʀs, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ. Tʜᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅɪɴɢ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

This message adds zero value to your life

twitchquotes: This message adds zero value to your life. I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I enjoyed typing it out. If you are still reading this, I would just like to tell you that you are wasting your time. If you think anything positive will come out of this final sentence, you are mistaken
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Leifgirl, the Leifman's sister

twitchquotes: Stop it, guys. I'm Leifman's sister, and mother of our beautiful little daughter, Leifgirl. The spam and constant harassment in this chat is driving my beloved Leifman insane. Since he became moderator, he's spending all his time here, and can't provide for his family, anymore. Please, Leifman, get back to work in our salt plant, we need the money.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Hey Kripp! It's Arena...

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! It's Arena... It's been a while, haven't it old buddy? I see that you've been playing Battlegrounds and have completely forgotten about me, even though I was always there for you. Low blow Kripp, hope you finish 8th in all your next games. Toodles!
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

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