[Copypasta] A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

where the vegan sun don't shine

twitchquotes: Hey dirtbag, this is Pogo's father. I hear you trash talking my son and ignoring my wife. I know you got some weird murloc fetish but you better pick my son or I'll get my old high school buddy Tanner and we will shove those carrots where the vegan sun don't shine.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

I dropped my deck of playing cards

twitchquotes: ᴬ♥ ⁴♣ ³♥ ⁴♥ ¹⁰♣ ᴶ♠ ⁶♠ ᑫ♥ ⁸♦ ⁹♦ ⁴♠ ⁵♥ ᴷ♠ ⁵♣ ⁵♦ ²♦ ⁵♠ ᑫ♠ ³♠ ⁶♥ ▼ ⁶♣ ¹⁰♥ ⁶♦ I dropped my deck of playing cards ⁷♥ ᴬ♠ ⁷♣ ³♦ ᴷ♣ ⁷♦ ²♠ ⁷♠ ⁸♥ ²♣ ᴷ♥ ⁸♣ ⁴♦ ¹⁰♦ ⁸♠ ⁹♥ ᴬ♣ ⁹♣ ³♣ ⁹♠ ¹⁰♥ ¹⁰♦ ¹⁰♠ ᴶ♥ ᴬ♦ ²♥ ᴶ♣ ᴶ♦ ᑫ♣ ᑫ♦ ᴷ♦ ᴷ♠
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS

twitchquotes: Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Be the better man and stop the spam

twitchquotes: I don't understand all these spammer hooligans. Its as if the pinnacle of human innovation has resulted in the creation of these inbred spammers with nothing better to do in their life other than copy and paste what the person above them wrote. Whats worse is the people using scripts to spam. Be the better man and stop the spam. Thanks.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Kripparrian... this Bro Fist is for you

twitchquotes: As he raises his "Bro Fist" gently against his cam, I raise my donger against my cam. I feel how for that moment, Kripparrian and I become one. My donger starts to shake, and I close my eyes, letting out a small moan as our "Bro Fists" e-touches. "Kripparrian.. this Bro Fist is for you" I whisper to myself. Kreygasm
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing