[Copypasta] A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Krippler and the Donger people

twitchquotes: Krippler's aim is to establish a New Order of absolute Nazi German hegemony in the Twitch Metaverse. To this end, his foreign and domestic policies had the aim of seizing Lebensraum ("living space") for the Donger people. Under Krippler's rule, in 1941 German forces and their European allies occupied most of Europe and North Africa.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kripp show us THE decks

twitchquotes: Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Copyright infringement of copypastas

twitchquotes: TWITCH CHAT, this is the POLICE. We have heard rumors that you have been performing illegal actions, such as copyright infringement in this stream. You must cease your use of these copy(righted)pastas immediately or you will be arrested for your crimes. Internet piracy is NOT a victimless crime, and you WILL be punished.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

As Kripp installed the minecraft

twitchquotes: ᴀs ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪɴsᴛᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇᴄʀᴀғᴛ ɪ ʜᴇʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀɢɢᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ·ᴛ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇs. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏʟɪғᴇ. ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏʟɪғᴇ. ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Dude, your donger is showing!

twitchquotes: (ʘᗩʘ') Dude, your donger is showing (ʘᗩʘ')
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing