My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
I used to be a real ad
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Momo
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Kiwi's Father, Pineapple
My favorite character is the reaper guy
twitchquotes:
My favorite character is the reaper guy. he is very powerfull. special move, honestly is one of the best in the game and so he comes equipped with these two revolvers and only takes about 3 or 4 shots to actually execute a kill so it comes really in handy specially when you come from the side.
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Overwatch
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
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ᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚ 
ᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ 
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ᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ 
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ᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ 
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ᅚ ᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚ ᅚᅚ ᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚ ᅚᅚ ᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚᅚ ᅚ
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Reynad