[Copypasta] Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she won’t talk to me

My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The tragedy of Darth Pepega

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Pepega the Retarded? I thought not. It's not a story the High Elo players would tell you. It's a Silver legend. Darth Pepega was a Dark Lord of the Silver, so boosted and so retarded he could use his Flame to influence the outcome of the game... He had such a knowledge of the flame, he could even keep the ones who tried to carry him from winning. The dark side of the Mental is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught a rioter everything he knew, then the rioter banned him in his sleep. Ironic. He could grant the enemy team LP, but not himself.
twitch chat
August 2019

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

League of Legends

I don’t know what Overwatch is

twitchquotes: I don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what “Junkrat kin discourse” is yall show up with “This is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniper” and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. “This is Swedish Beefcake” could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is.
twitch chat
April 2021

Overwatch

Scary WutFace

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣵⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣠⣄⡀⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⡾⠋⠉⠉⠉⠩⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠙⢶⣆⠄⠄⠹⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣼⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠁⢻⣿⣿⡠⠦⠄⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠛⡁⠾⠹⠁⠄⠄⣴⡾⣿⣿⠄⠄⠸⢋⣭⠻⣶⠞⠛⠛⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠘⣿ ⣿⠄⠰⣿⡆⡀⠄⠄⢘⢿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠠⣰⠄⠉⢀⣧⠐⠷⠄⣸⣶⣿⡏⠄⠄⠛ ⣿⠄⢠⣤⣷⣧⡢⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣴⡿⢷⠖⢉⡉⠳⡖⣊⡉⠻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣥⣤⣄⣠⣤⡊⠁⢀⣼⣄⠈⠋⣠⣇⠘⠘⢀⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣟⢸⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣍⠉⠉⠉⠛⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣇⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠿⠟⢡⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⠃⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⢆⣀⠝⠛⡟⢻⠛⢟⢫⣁⠦⠄⣾⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡀⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣀⡈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⣀⣼⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿ ⣧⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⡆⠤⣤⣼⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⢀⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡄⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾
October 2019

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

Trump shrug

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠟⠟⠟⠿⠿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⢿⠟⠛⠉⠈⡀⠄⠔⠄⠅⣐⠐⡄⠄⠂⠄⠠⠑⡝⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢨⠠⡐⢈⠄⡅⠐⠨⢐⠁⠃⠔⠡⣂⢅⢊⠸⡐⠄⠁⢟⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢣⢑⡕⢄⠥⡡⢊⠌⣒⢔⡪⣖⢥⡣⣎⢞⢜⢜⢢⡁⠂⡈⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⡼⡽⡮⡳⡡⢨⠱⠹⢰⠹⡚⡸⡘⡜⠜⡜⡜⡐⠡⡘⠐⣜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⡯⣯⢏⠪⡰⠔⡢⢡⢣⢕⣜⣼⣶⣮⡺⢐⠆⠅⠕⣌⠠⣯⢿⣿⢿⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⣯⢯⢺⢪⢑⣀⣦⣾⣿⣿⠁⠙⡿⢿⠵⡛⣚⠶⢘⡢⡘⡆⣿⢟⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣣⣷⡑⣼⡾⡺⣘⡬⢹⠠⠐⢀⠂⠉⠉⠄⠄⠅⢌⢊⢎⢧⡫⠣⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣗⣗⢍⠊⠉⠁⠄⡷⡀⣀⢄⡑⠦⣆⣆⡢⡡⡊⢆⠕⠍⢞⢀⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣾⣗⣳⢕⢔⢐⢤⡳⡺⣿⣿⢟⠋⠈⠌⡛⣷⠳⡡⡑⢜⠌⠄⣊⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢝⢗⣝⢾⢏⣣⣱⣩⡽⠴⠖⡓⡚⠩⢃⠯⡪⢪⢪⢽⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⢕⢵⡑⡉⠏⢷⢵⡶⠶⠗⠭⠘⡈⢘⢞⢜⢵⣫⡚⡮⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣧⣻⣮⢮⡪⡀⠑⢔⢈⢄⡐⡀⠢⢅⢇⢧⢗⣗⢇⣿⣽⣾⣿⣿ ⠿⠻⣛⡽⡽⢿⢻⣖⡽⣷⣘⢯⣦⡥⣟⣾⣾⣾⣽⣽⣯⣷⣻⣮⡳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡞⡯⡯⡿⣻⢵⣻⢿⣿⣾⣞⣮⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣷⠟⠄⢿⣽⣻⡺⡽ ⡣⡫⡪⡫⡺⣹⢞⣟⡿⣿⡪⡛⢞⢟⣿⣾⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽⠟⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣟⢿
March 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing