[Copypasta] Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she won’t talk to me

My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game “Among Us” after playing it on his computer. While i didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'sus’ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said ‘kicked’. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying he’ll “eject” me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Drip’, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a “crewmate”. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use “vent” to get there. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Albert Einsteinerino

twitchquotes: hello kripp, my name is Albert Einsteinerino, and I've been a huge fan of yours. You've inspired me to quit my physics degree and pursue my dream of playing video games all day asking for donations from people. Thank you for motivating me to go after my dream
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Chat would benefit from watching you play Xayah or Varus

twitchquotes: Hey Sneaky, I think chat would benefit from watching you play Xayah or Varus. We're all sex starved weebs and when you play Xayah and Varus we get to see you get your shit pushed in
twitch chat
March 2018
Sneaky

League of Legends

Peter Griffin Slug

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣖⣿⠿⢿⣿⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡋⢩⡟⡟⢳⣽⣻⣍⣧⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣯⡯⡄⢦⣳⡶⢞⣿⣵⣽⡏⠋⣽⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠨⠽⣟⠛⠛⣿⣿⣮⠈⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡠⣠⡀⠘⢾⣽⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠄⠀⠀⢀⢨⣿⣥⣠⣄⣿⣿⡅⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠶⠺⠳⠄⠀⠀⠀⠰⠈⠭⠝⠊⠿⠅⠁⠐⠀⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢾⠏⢥⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣈⣟⣳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣁⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡆⠐⢨⡷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠟⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢾⡿⣯⣀⢋⡿⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠖⣴⣴⢟⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⡀⢻⣿⣃⢽⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡃⡀⠀⠀⠀⣘⠽⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡀⢠⡄⠀⢀⣼⣿⡜⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢒⣆⣔⣲⣶⣶⣤⡴⣟⠛⡋⠖⠪⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣽⡧⡎⣤⠆⢰⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠉⠉⣉⠚⠛⠊⠘⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢾⡟⣿⣿⡶⣝⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⢿⣽⣾⣽⡟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣮⣞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡉⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢚⢲⣶⣤⣤⣤⣦⣥⡽⠶⡟⡛⠇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡻⡦⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠈⠀⠀⠀⠦⢘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⡀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠘⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠻⣷⣤⠄⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⡄⣠⡔⠀⣾⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣤⠞⡯⠀⠈⠁⠙⠇⠀⠰⠶⠿⠷⠿⠟⠛⠛⠷⠾⠿⠿⠿⢾⠻⠯⠁⠀⢰⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣺⠿⢭⡭⠉⠉⠉⢐⡙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠾⠋⠹⠍⠛⠱⠛⠿⢿⢶⣴⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠈⢡⣔⣠⣥⣼⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣦⢬⣭⣾⣧⣓⡀⡤⢈⡙⢣⣝⡳⠞⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠀⢀⣶⣴⣦⣥⡀⠐⠟⢟⠛⡛⠛⠿⠻⢛⠛⢛⠭⠈⢌⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠛⠺⠾⠿⠇⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠶⠦⠿⢿⣿⣽⣿⣦⣀⣦⣭⣭⠵⠤⠦⠴⠾⠦⠤⠤⠶⠶⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Family Guy

Let us out lettuce points

twitchquotes: Lettuce (Lactuca sativa) was first discovered by Octavian Morosan in 2019. A leafy, green vegatable, he named it lettuce after the frantic cries from his wife and two dogs chained in the basement of, "Let us out!"
twitch chat
March 2019
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing