My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden
The results 📈are in and our gurl 💃🏻 sanders is out 🏳️🌈. Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden. He's cumming 💦💦 to DOMINATE🤼♂️ our HEAD of state 🍊 and his bitch💁🏻♀️ mike pence. He may be a donkey but he's big as a horse 🍆🐴 and is ready to touch 👋🤫😈 the hearts 💞of all Americans 🇺🇸. Cum erection day 🗳 y'all sluts better fill that hole 👉🏻👌 next to biden and relase✊ America's aching 🤤throbbing 😮 desire for green 🤑🤑energy, a ban 🛑on those naughty big black guns💪🏾, and more money to pay💵💰💸 those slutty nurses 👩⚕️💁♀️ to make us all feel better 👄🥴. Cum 💦 hoevember help the needy 👅🧎🏻♂️ by supporting big daddy Biden 👨🏻🦳and naughty Nancy💁♀️👏 and give dirty Donald 🎩, bitch McConnell 🐢, and those filthy 😷😏 reSUBlicans🐘 blue balls🔵. Send to 🔟 of your most deviant 😈democrats. If you get 5️⃣back ur a Biden bitch 💅🏻💵. if u get 🔟 u will spend a hot 🔥 December⛄️night with those skanks at the ERECToral 😏🍆 college 🏛.)
Emoji Pasta
Politics
Joe Biden
My husband is the moderator for a few different subreddits, and he genuinely thinks it’s a job
my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says he’s, “got too much on his plate already”.
That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what he’s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesn’t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
MODS
Canadian sex
twitchquotes:
thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!"
twitch chat
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
Sorry, I dropped my chess set
twitchquotes:
♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟♙♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♝ ♞ Sorry, I've dropped my chess set ♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟♙♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟♙♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♞ ♟♛ ♙♗ ♘
twitch chat
imaqtpie