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TWITCH OUTDATED STREAM OVERRATED LONG HAVE WE WAITED ADVERTISING ACTIVATED
TWITCH OUTDATED STREAM OVERRATED LONG HAVE WE WAITED ADVERTISING ACTIVATED
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President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day
Happy PresiDICKโS ๐๐๐ฝ DAYโผ๏ธ Time โฐโฐ to honor the DADDIES ๐ฌ๐ฌ of our nation ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ George SLUTsington ๐ฏ๐ฏ, Benjamin SPANKlin๐๐, John HanCOCK ๐๐ฝ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ These POUNDING ๐จโ fathers ERECTED โฌ๏ธโฌ๏ธ their ๐ป๐CUNTstitutional dongs ๐๐for LADY LIBERTY ๐ฝ๐
๐ Raise that ASS ๐ to ๐ฆ๐ฆ Abraham LinCUM ๐ฆ๐ฆ, ๐ฒ WOODrow Wilson ๐๐ฒ๐, Bill CLIT-on ๐๐, and the CUMmander in chief, ๐ฆ๐๐BarCOCK Obama ๐ฆ๐๐ Donโt forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE ๐๐ฉ DICKlared war ๐ซ๐ฃ on those CUMMIES ๐ฆ๐๐ Share in โ๏ธ SUCKonds or you wonโt be pounding ๐จthat presidential PUSSY ๐๐ Get 5๏ธโฃ back and ur a White House HOE ๐ Get ๐ back and ur the SUCKretary of state ๐๐๐บ๐ธ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ HAPPY JIZZIDENTโS DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS ๐๐๐
President's Day
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Holiday Emoji
I fucked Up DVD
Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
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I used to work at an abortion clinic
I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed:
โข โ A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight
โข โ A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor
โข โ They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name)
โข โ One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns
โข โ The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man
โข โ The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life"
โข โ The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos
โข โ The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy)
โข โ During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
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Here's an "extended maintenance" for you
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( ยฐ อสอกยฐ)โญโฉโฎ Hey Blizzard, here's an "extended maintenance" for you ( ยฐ อสอกยฐ)โญโฉโฎ
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Forsen
Born perfectly to explore dank memes
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Born too late to explore the Earth, born too early to explore the universe, born perfectly to explore dank memes โ อ ส อก อกโ
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