Search Copypastas

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?

No, you’re NOT a real gamer. I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.

🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!! Now that it’s finally DICKmas 👅💦Santa’s about to slide 🎅🏾😉 down your hot 🔥 hot 🔥chimney tonight. So lick 💦💋those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog🍼, it’s about to get wet down at Santa’s workshop🍆🍆! Don’t forgot to slide down that XXXtra 🎅🏾🎅🏾 big North Pole, and make sure your 🍪 cookie 🍪is yummy enough for Santa to eat👄! 👀 But are you bad enough to handle Santa’s giant juicy 8=candy👊🏼COCK=D💦?? Send this to 🔟 of your baddest bitch elves💁🏼💁🏾 If you get 5️⃣ back, youre on the naughty list this year🍆💦! If you get 🔟 back you better be ready for Santa’s hot ♨️CUMlate☕️💦😭 If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you’ve got the most bitchin 🍬peppermint 🍬pussy in the North Pole! ❄️⛄ Hope you get to blow 🌬 lots of XXXmas 🎄dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas 🎄CUMMIES 💝💝 HAVE A SLUTTY 💦🍆👅DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! 🎅🏾🎅🏿🎅🏽🎅🏼

Are you a left or right wing?!”, the dark ominous figure booms. I know it’s over. “I-I’m a d-democr—“ Instantly I lose all bodily functions. I collapse to the floor, screaming in agony, spasming. The great Ben Shapiro stands over my lifeless body. “Libtard has been owned.”

It's COCKtober 🍆🎃 u know what that means 👀👅 Dick sucking awareness month 😯🙆🏼👅 send this to 12 of ur closet hoes 👭😈 that love that dick 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 THOT-O-WEEN 🎃is upon us !! If you get this message ✉️ you are queen 👸of the thots!!! Forward this to 7⃣ of the 🍆ThOtTiEsT🍆 thots 💁that you know will get some 👉👌 soon !!! If you don't, be prepared 🙍for 6⃣9⃣ days of bad luck ⚠️ 🍀 ‼️ATTENTION ‼️💀👻ALL HALLOWEEN 🎃🕸HOES 😚💅ITS TIME TO GET SPOOKY ☠️YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS👏GET 👊FISTED👊 BY A 💀SKELETON 💀SHOVE ✊🍭CANDY 🌽🌽CORN🍬IN YOUR 👉PUSSY 😽AND 🙅DONT 🙅‍♂️FORGET 😩🙌TO SUCK SOME 💏DRACULA 💉DICK 🍆💦 SO PUT 🔛 YOUR 👗👑 COSTUMES AND GO 🚪DOOR TO DOOR🚪👀👅💦BEGGING FOR THAT 😍GOOD GOOD😍 SEND THIS TO TWELVE1️⃣2️⃣☠️SPOOKY 👻🍑SLUTS🌮 TO 👁SHOW 💁🏼THAT YOURE READY TO GET SOME 🍫CHOCOLATE🍫 COVERED🍆DICK🌽 BOO!! Sorry did I scare you?! WASSUP GURL😉😉😊 ITS COCKTOBER 😈🌚🍂🍃🍁 AND IF YOU👈🏽 ARE GETTING THIS👇🏽😘 IT MEANS UR A HALLOWEEN 👻🎃👻👻🎃 👻🎃👻 HOE😏😩😩👅💦💦 every year in Cocktober the jack o slut🎃🎃🎃 comes to life🙀😻😻🙌🏽👏👏🙌🏽 coming to harvest 🍁🍂🍃 his hoes for THOT-O-WEEN😏😏💥💥🎈🎂🎉 send this to 15 other Halloween Hoes or else you a TRICK🎃👻👻 🎃 IF YOU GET 5 BACK UR A THOT-O-WEEN TREAT😋😋 IF YOU GET 10 BACK UR A SLUTTY WITCH BITCH👄😍✨🔮 BUT IF YOU GET 15 BACK UR THE SPOOKIES

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.