[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

I love Pokimane

A lot of people say that Pokimane is not really a talented streamer but she's famous. A lot of people say her success comes from looking good and i'd agree with them and some of these people say her success comes from her personality and all the time she's spent streaming and i'd also agree with them. The thing is I think i'm in love with Pokimane and I think she's super pretty, talented, amazing, beautifal, funny, and smart. I want to make Pokimane my wife and wake up to her next to me every morning. I want to please her in every way I can just to see the smile on her face. Every time I think about waking up next to her , it makes me so happy and so in love with her. I think she has one of the most beautiful bodies on this earth and I would like to see her with my own eyes every day. Her smile , her charm, her charisma, her laughter, her tears, her thoughts, her feelings. I want to share everything with this women that I've fallen for. I don't care that people are going to say that I have no chance with her it's fine but thinking about being with her makes me happy so why is it so wrong to have that. If you guys want to make fun of me for liking Pokimane that's fine but I'll always love her with everything I have. I want to be with Pokimane through life , through death, through thick and thin, through sadness and sorrow, and everlasting happiness, I want to be there. I know i've already said this before but I'll say it again make fun of me for falling in love with Pokimane but you'll never break the love i have for her.
January 2021
Pokimane

Simps

Kripp I am a young beautiful Korean girl

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ ᴋᴏʀᴇᴀɴ ɢɪʀʟ (>‿◠)✌ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɢɪɢɢʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ʜᴏᴡ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ♡‿‿♡ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Forg

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠶⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡴⠛⡶⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠴⢊⠕⠊⠉⠉⠉⠢⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣔⣚⣣⡀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠴⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠻⣟⣋⣙⠻⠥⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠖⠛⠉⠀⢀⡔⠋⠉⡤⠤⠔⠒⠒⠒⠐⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠔⡲⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠦⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⢀⣠⠤⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠤⠭⣲⡦⡴⢾⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣙⣄⣀⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⣿⡼⠲⠽⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠰⡇⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⢬⠱⣟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠓⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⠀⣳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠻⠯⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⠾⠿⠭⠭⠴⠦⠤⠤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠓⠲⠶⢦⣄⠀⢠⣀⠚⢶⠺⠿⠶⠳⠶⠶⠶⠦⠦⠤⠴⠶⠶⠒⠋⠁⠉⠉⠙⠒⠒⠒⠲⠖⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣈⣿⠛⠶⠷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing