[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school, the kid you bullied for 3 years. After I got transferred to another school I had huge self-esteem issues and never made any friends. I turned to league of legends, the only game that made me feel special at silver elo but when I found out you're the top league streamer I got flashbacks from when you bullied me. There is no justice in this world. I am going to end it all now I hope you are happy..
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

I bet with Betway CSGO

twitchquotes: I've been there since the beginning. Every map, every frag, every moment. I run but I never hide. With knowledge comes power, and power is to be wielded wisely. Which is why, as the expert, I bet with Betway. If you know CS:GO, then you know the best way to bet on e-sports, is with Betway. For the love of the game.
twitch chat
October 2019

CSGO

5Head

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠄⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⢿⣿ ⣿⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⣿ ⡟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄ ⣇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡇⢠ ⣿⡀⠈⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⣀⠄⠄⣾ ⣿⣧⢠⣖⣀⡀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣤⡶⢿⣿⡄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⢿⣦⣬⣙⣒⡤⣌⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣚⣭⣴⣶⣿⡟⣼⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣬⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡹⣯⣿⠿⠦⠬⣭⣭⣥⣼⠾⢿⣿⡿⠟⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⢷⣯⣭⣭⣭⣭⣽⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⠛⠛⠟⠛⢛⣡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Doot diddity donger cuckerino

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob 𝓓𝓸𝓸𝓽 𝓭𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓲𝓵𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓸 CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
November 2016
imaqtpie
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