[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Prove you aren't a mobile user

twitchquotes: Copypaste this within the next ten seconds to prove you aren't a mobile user LUL LUL LUL LUL
twitch chat
August 2019

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Why is Jake even a meme?

twitchquotes: Why is Jake even a meme? Are really so inconsiderate and stupid so as to think that its funny? You just post it like its some kind of joke, when in reality, Jake is a serious player at the top of his game, and deserves your respect. For this reason, I refuse to spam J LUL KE
twitch chat
March 2018

GG

โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ• โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘
ascii art
January 2021

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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