[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 3

We had a school assembly today, and the speaker was talking about bullying. The speech was pretty boring, but there came a point in his presentation where he said "I know there are some students among us who have been subject to bullying." Honestly, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought, "There is no way the speaker just said Among Us." I decided to troll the speaker by standing up and yelling "When the imposter is sus!" while making a huge grin (just like in the memes). To my surprise, no one laughed. Everyone fell dead silent and looked at me. The speaker said "I'm sorry, what was that?" I decided to explain to everyone what I was talking about, and said "Get it guys? It's from Among Us." Still, no one understood the reference. I turned towards my friend Caleb (I know him from band), and said "You get it, right? It's from among us!" However, he had his head buried into his lap. I looked at my friend Dalton (He plays the trumpet in band, just like I do), and yelled "Dalton, do you get the joke????" He didn't even make eye contact. Suddenly, the assistant principal came up behind me and said "Please sit down, this is a school assembly." I screamed back at her "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY?? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!" I then naruto ran down to the stage, pointed at the assistant principal, and said "SHE'S SUS!!! I SAW HER FAKE A SCAN IN MEDBAY!" Still, no one laughed. I then said "I'm not the imposter, I was in vents the whole time!!" (referencing a meme). No one understood the reference. I saw people whispering to each other, but no one laughed. I then made a face resembling the "big chungus" meme, and said "You guys don't get it?? That's not very Wholesome 100." When I realized no one was laughing, I yelled "Don't any of you guys use reddit?" The audience was dead silent, until someone yelled "Sit down!" (which was very rude and not wholesome) I pointed back at him and shouted "You're breathtaking!!" I don't think anyone got the joke becaude no one laughed, so I said "Do you guys know who Keanu Reeves is?" No one responded, which is kind of cringe because I thought that at least SOMEONE would know who Keanu is. I ended up getting escorted to the principal's office and getting suspended for a week, but in my opinion, it was totally worth it. I trolled EVERYONE. I'm gonna forever go down in Reddit history. I also realized that there aren't any redditors at my school (which is very cringe in my opinion).
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

DrDisrespect's announcement

Hey guys. uuuuuh... I kinda have a little bit of an announcement, I just wanna be completely transparent with you guys, as you guys know I have a beautiful family, and a wife, and kid. And I wanna be transparent that I've been unfaithful, and I'm probably going to be taking some time away, t-time off, to focus on... Stupid fucking mistakes man
June 2019
DrDisRespectLIVE

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018

Look what Casualstone has done to you Kripp

twitchquotes: @nl_Kripp I just rewatched your Diablo Intro video and shed a tear. At that time you were full of joy, passion and energy. Now look at yourself after all this years. Look what Casualstone has done to you. You are dying from boredom Kripp, you are yawning so hard as if you didn't sleep for ages, and tons of salt make your existance even more pathetic. Don't you realise it's time to make a step towards changes?
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp
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