[Copypasta] KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018
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The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Full Doge

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β– ░░░░░░░▐▄▀▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▐ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β– β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–Œβ–’β–€β–β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β– β–β–’β–’β–β–€β–β–€β–’β–‘β–„β–„β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ ▐▒▒▒▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▐ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–Œ ░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▄▒▒▐ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€
ascii art
November 2016

SautΓ© the Pepperoni

twitchquotes: First you boil some pasta, preferably Fagottini ( Ν‘β—• ΝœΚ– Ν‘β—•)οΎ‰ ~~~~~Then you sautΓ© the Pepperoni ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)βŠƒβ” (o o o)
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Grubhub perks gives you deals on the food you love

Grubhub perks gives you deals on the food you love β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ €β €β €β’»β£Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ώβ’Ώβ‘Ώβ‘β €β €β €β €β’˜β£Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£ β£€β ›β’›β£‹β£β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Όβ‘β €β €β£Έβ£Ώβ£―β Ÿβ‘›β »β£Ώβ£†β£Άβ£Άβ£¦β£€β£€β£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓙ⑇⠀⣠⣿Ⓕ⣿⣀⣍⣸⣿⠛⣿⠁⠏⠉Ⓓ⑿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ »β£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ €β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ›β’Ώβ‘Όβ Ώβ’Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣴⑿⠋⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⑿⠿⠷⠏⠁⣠⣄⠀⠀⠀⣿⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β£°β‘Ώβ ‹β €β €β’Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β ˆβ »β’·β£¦β£€β£€β‘Ÿβ »β‘·β €β €β£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β£ β£Ύβ Ÿβ’Ώβ£„β €β €β ˜β£Ώβ£„β €β €β €β €β €β£ˆβ£‰β£‰β£΄β‘†β €β €β’€β£Ώβ ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β’€β£΄β‘Ώβ β €β €β’»β£·β‘€β €β ˆβ’Ώβ£¦β €β €β£ β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£β ‰β €β €β£ β£Ώβ’Ώβ£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β’ β£Ύβ ‹β €β €β €β €β €β ™β£Ώβ‘„β €β €β ›β’Ώβ£¦β£»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£¦β£°β‘Ώβ β ˆβ’Ώβ£‡β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β£Ύβ£ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’Ώβ£¦β €β €β €β ™β »β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‹β£±β‘Ώβ β €β’ β ˆβ£Ώβ‘„β €β €β €β €β € β£΄β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β£„β‘€β €β €β €β €β »β£·β£„β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ™β °β£Ώβ’±β£¦β €β ˜β €β’Ήβ£‡β €β €β €β €β € The kind of deals that make you boogie
ascii art
February 2021
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