Are you a left or right wing?!”, the dark ominous figure booms.
I know it’s over.
“I-I’m a d-democr—“
Instantly I lose all bodily functions. I collapse to the floor, screaming in agony, spasming.
The great Ben Shapiro stands over my lifeless body.
“Libtard has been owned.”
I used to be a real ad
More Ben Shapiro Copypastas
Ben Shapiro sings Rick Roll
Lets say, hypothetically, that we were not strangers to love, and lets say, you knew the rules and so did i. And if you thought of a full commitment, you wouldnt get this from any other guy, right? Then hypothetically speaking, i just want to tell you how im feeling. Now lets say i gotta make you understand. Now that we've established that im never gonna give you up or let you down. Am i not correct? You would never run around, and desert you. And i, as a balcony, think that i wouldnt make you cry, so i must be the one to never tell a lie, and hurt you
This would mean that, we've known eachother for so long, and logically, your hearts been aching but, youre too shy to say it. which would proceed with both of us knowing whats been going on. Which didnt make sense, we know the game, in a way that we're gonna play it. Yet, if you ask me how im feeling, seeing as you shouldnt say that youre too blind to see
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks
Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre
let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist
"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?"
Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?"
Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-"
Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?"
Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-"
Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?"
Reporter: (silence)
Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o."
(Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question)
"B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o."
Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-"
(The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben)
All: "And Bingo was his name-o!"
(Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro's naughty girl
Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl.
Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.