Search Results | TwitchQuotes

4745 copypastas found.

This guy's DDOS is crazy

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's DDOS is CRAZY!” ☑ “My ISP can't win against a DDOS like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely this IP to win" ☑ “He used the only DDOS site the that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect program” ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I streamed that perfectly"!!!

twitch chat

January 2015

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.

September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

single least favorite form of communication

twitchquotes: Honestly, 99% of the time, twitch chat is the stupidest thing alive. That and copypasta is my single least favorite form of communication, somehow being incredibly lazy and entirely impersonal all at once.

twitch chat

August 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

I'm a streamer that is in LOVE with Weebs!

twitchquotes: I'm MoonMoon_OwO! i'm a streamer that is in LOVE with Weebs! That's right! I know it sounds crazy because bald streamers aren't supposed to appreciate true art, but I grew up with anime and have just never really wanted anything to do with normies! It just feels so good to be a degenerate weeb loving this Japanese media! I can't help myself! Their power levels and tourneyment arcs... I'm getting too excited now! I need to go to crunchyroll! I'm going to go watch some anime!

twitch chat

July 2019

MOONMOON

Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T

twitchquotes: TriHard

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard

Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T.

twitch chat

February 2020

You are now breathing and blinking manually

twitchquotes: monkaS

YOU ARE NOW BREATHING AND BLINKING MANUALLY monkaS

twitch chat

June 2017

Art of Conquest is my favorite game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is my favorite game! (Thanks for agreeing to post some positive feedback about our game. Just post this in Kripp's Twitch chat as often as possible. Make sure to remove this message before you post it. Thanks! -Art of Conquest Team)

twitch chat

June 2017

Kripp

sellout

I need the 2-3 police here right away

twitchquotes: ╰(”◕﹏◕”)つ hello 2-3 police, i need you here right away, its an emergency ╰(”◕﹏◕”)つ

twitch chat

February 2015

Kripp

That's the power of cargo pants

twitchquotes: Excuse me? Cargo pants, motherfucker. My pockets have pockets. You can't stop the storage. And when it gets too hot, just unzip and remove the lower half of the legs. Utility, motherfuckers. Want me to hold your phone for a second? how about I hold one of every phone on the market, each with their own individual pocket. Want me to hold your souvenir from your vacation to Europe? How about I put Europe in my pocket. That's the power of cargo pants, motherfuckers

twitch chat

August 2019

Hello Kripp, this is Optimus Prime

twitchquotes: ＨｅｌｌｏＫｒｉｐｐｔｈｉｓｉｓＯｐｔｉｍｕｓＰｒｉｍｅｒｅｓｐｏｎｄｉｎｇｔｏｙｏｕｒｅｎｃｏｄｅｄｍｅｓｓａｇｅ．ＷｅａｒｅｎｏｔｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔｅｄｉｎｐｏｕｒｉｎｇｏｕｒｓｅｌｆｉｎＯＪｗｈｉｌｅＴｏｐｄｅｃｋｉｎｇＤｏｎｇｅｒｓ．ＰｌｅａｓｅｂｅａｄｖｉｓｅｔｈａｔａｎｙｍｏｒｅｂｅｅｐｉｎｇｗｉｌｌｌｅａｖｅｍｅｎｏｃｈｏｉｃｅｂｕｔｔｏｐｅｐｐｅｒｏｎｉｔｈｅＮａｚｉｍｏｄｓ．

twitch chat

March 2014

Kripp

Be careful with what emojis you react with

Ok everyone since you don’t listen when I’m nice, I’m going to get mean. Reacting to messages with a clown (🤡), a skull (💀), or a nerd face (🤓) isn’t funny. It’s not cool, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying. These 3 emojis in particular aren’t funny, they’re RUDE. We as staff work hard to keep this place safe, and to have you all constantly react to our messages with mean emojis makes me FURIOUS. STOP reacting to our messages with rude emojis. They do NOTHING but make you look really, really stupid. It shows you have no rebuttals to our arguments, so you have to use juvenile tactics paramount to terrorism in order to stop us from being able to speak out truth. FROM NOW ON, IF YOU REACT WITH ANY MEAN EMOJIS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN. IF YOU ARE A SERIAL REACTOR, YOUR USERNAME IS GOING TO A GOOGLE DOC. AT THE END OF THE MONTH, I WILL TAKE THIS DOC TO THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES FOR THEM TO INVESTIGATE AND ARREST YOU. This is your ONLY warning. Tread carefully…

July 2022

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and I, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen.

May 2021

Simps

My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always have Phil be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.

twitch chat

August 2017

Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming

twitchquotes: Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming, the reigning World Champions, 3-1? This series is going down in history. No one will ever dare to call NA a wildcard region again. It's not just C9 anymore, the gap is closed. 8 years of being memed as a 4fun region, 8 years of people laughing at Doublelift being an international choker, enough is enough. We poked this monster too much, it finally got pissed, woke up, and it's fucking hungry.

twitch chat

May 2019

Riot Games

League of Legends

Think of the saltwater fish

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°) Hey Kripp, Marine Biologist Gilbin Pastarino here. I come to you on behald of all the salt water creatures of the world as your body seems to have absorbed 99% of the oceans salt. Please thinkerino of the poor fisheroni. Thanks

twitch chat

December 2014

Reynad

xQc juicer fanfic

twitchquotes: Felix starts to notice my eyes are welling up with tears, he sits up quickly. "Oh nyooo, why are you crying?" He rubbed my tears away. "Maybe let's sleep. Can we talk in the morning?" I went silent and hugged him tight. I agreed to talk in the morning over breakfast. I climbed off of him and told him I was going to shower, he followed to the bathroom and undressed with me. "Oh is that right?" I asked him. He smiled and kissed my neck, we both climbed into the shower and didn't really talk much. We kinda just stared at each other and smiled. He kissed me a few times wile rubbing what he kept calling my "juicers". Apparently I have some nice "juicers"? What is all this juice talk, it is killing me so bad. He is so funny.

twitch chat

September 2021

xQcOW

Bring us Forsen here and now

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º ༽ Magic forces black and white. Reaching out through space and light. A perfect man I summon now. Another way I don't know how. Bring him now into the light. Be he far or be he near. Bring us the Forsen here and now. ༼ ºل͟º ༽

twitch chat

December 2014

Forsen

I just thought you looked cute in your picture

twitchquotes: hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you

sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

twitch chat

April 2019

Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston

twitchquotes: I am starting a petition to fly Kripp down to Houston to aid in the Hurricane Harvey relief effort. The unprecedented levels of PJSalt

that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer BlessRNG

twitch chat

September 2017

Kripp

sick of mf's in fighting shows saying "i come in peace."

sick of mf's in fighting shows saying "i come in peace." okay??? who asked bro, i dont care if you came in peace. i dont even know who the fuck peace is, i really hope she didn't get pregnant with your foul cum. like bro, we dont care if you came in peace, i came in your mom and you dont see me telling everyone everywhere i go.

April 2022

Search Copypastas

This guy's DDOS is crazy

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

single least favorite form of communication

I hate Twitch Chat

I'm a streamer that is in LOVE with Weebs!

Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T

You are now breathing and blinking manually

Art of Conquest is my favorite game!

sellout

I need the 2-3 police here right away

That's the power of cargo pants

Hello Kripp, this is Optimus Prime

Be careful with what emojis you react with

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male

Simps

My dad works at twitch dude

Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming

League of Legends

Think of the saltwater fish

xQc juicer fanfic

Bring us Forsen here and now

I just thought you looked cute in your picture

Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston

sick of mf's in fighting shows saying "i come in peace."

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