[Copypasta] You are now breathing and blinking manually

twitchquotes: monkaS YOU ARE NOW BREATHING AND BLINKING MANUALLY monkaS
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June 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

forsenDDK

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢿⣿⡿⢿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⢹⣯⣔⢄⠦⠄⡐⠰⠈⡭⠾⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡟⢟⣛⠵⠁⠂⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠊⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠸⠇⠄⠘⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡤⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣀⠄⠄⠄⣰⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣾⡟⠿⡿⠟⡌⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⠿⠿⠿⠷⠄⠄⢘⡆⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⠇⠄⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠓⢦⣺⡟⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣦⠄⢀⡈⠛⢹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⠾⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠂⠄⠈⠂⠄⠁⠄⡀⢂⣶⣾⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

You guys are so rude. First Jake now Sinatraa

twitchquotes: You guys are so rude. First Jake now Sinatraa. I’m so disappointed. I look up to both of them and hope one day to get to get out of silver. If anything this is an extremely bronze, disgusting chat.
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March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

OGN's mods

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ OGN, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Hɪᴛʟᴇʀ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴅᴏ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴊᴏʙ ᴏғ ᴄᴀʀʀʏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴇʟɪᴇғs.
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March 2014
OGN Hearthstone

Another Response to Navy Seal Copypasta

October 2021
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