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[Copypasta]Red futures :(
Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME
πππ UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE πππ
LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. Itβs the only weapon they have on us, but it wonβt work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Donβt pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE.
APES TOGETHER STRONG π¦ π π
πππ UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE πππ
LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. Itβs the only weapon they have on us, but it wonβt work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Donβt pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE.
APES TOGETHER STRONG π¦ π π
bears are always fucked
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ππ» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ππ» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
Jack Ma goes missing
Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him π
Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him π
My wife told me to talk dirty to her
So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said βdirtier!β So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said βdirtier!β So I said βIβm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iβm gonna put it in long and deep. Iβm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.β
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weβre getting a divorce.
So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said βdirtier!β So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said βdirtier!β So I said βIβm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iβm gonna put it in long and deep. Iβm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.β
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weβre getting a divorce.
We can't blame market
To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
