[Copypasta] Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Not financial advise

I'm starting to think the people telling me to buy BB at $20 were being serious about not being financial advisors
April 2021

WallStreetBets

WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord πŸ€–+🀴 Jeff Divorcedzos πŸ’” Salmonella πŸ” Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🀑 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole πŸ₯’πŸ’¦ πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜³ πŸ₯’ Z πŸ₯’ U πŸ₯’ C πŸ₯’ C πŸ₯’ Tim 🍎 Bottom πŸ…±οΈENIS Jack Ma MIA πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πŸ™βœοΈ
March 2021

WallStreetBets

My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said β€œdirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said β€œdirtier!” So I said β€œI’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.” She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Graham Stephen is stingy

Graham Stephen the kind of guy that suck his own pp and cum in his own mouth to save tissue
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Tesla is undervalued

Currently Tesla share price is only valued for the next 200 years but studies have shown that Earth will survive another 1 billions years before the Sun dies out. Thus You don't have to be genius to figure out Tesla is heavily undervalued and it's current value factors in only the very short time. I am kinda retarded to be able to do the math but trust me it's heavy money. Factor in the when Zuckenberg calls in his species and that planet will be another market for Tesla that's more clients for Tesla and it will sky rocket. Get in before it's late
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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