I'm starting to think the people telling me to buy BB at $20 were being serious about not being financial advisors
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Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. âWhat?â you ask absentmindedly. Youâre looking at Futures, and youâre surprised to see them red.
âI want you to play with me.â She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnât totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, âI want to do that more.â
But youâve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. âUh huh,â you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donât realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donât say a word because you donât notice.
She hasnât left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor
Just heard an employee use the âF wordâ on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but donât you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
WallStreetBets
Anyone basing trades right now on fundamentals is a fucking tool
So many arrogant fucks here love talking fundamental analysis when they can't even tell me if lilâ Yachty got another Ferrari much less how stuffed the fucking Oreos are now. Fucking clowns, all of them.
Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a valuation multiple you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not, you deserve CHGG.
Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade gourd futures you know about and feel with your hands that it hasn't been spotted by any number of fungal pathogens in the complex ecology of modern supply chains. Or alternatively manipulate markets like the rich investors who funnel you into silver every fucking time like clockwork. Warren Buffet's dad was Paul Revere, if you think that shit didn't help The Wizard of Omaha then not only are you retarded but also delusional.
Now stfu about EBITDA and long term debt-to-equity ratios. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in r/lounge with a fat chick, not on wsb posting "anyone basing trades right now on technical analysis is fucking tool.â
WallStreetBets
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. Itâs not a story any bull would tell you.
Itâs an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits⌠He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish⌠the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
WallStreetBets
I challenge you to âTurtle Kingâ
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to âTurtle Kingâ instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the âdockâ is crowned Turtle đ¤´.
Dual me, Iâm 4-0.