[Copypasta] Not financial advise

I'm starting to think the people telling me to buy BB at $20 were being serious about not being financial advisors
April 2021

WallStreetBets

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Iโ€™m a simple guy

Iโ€™m a simple guy. I donโ€™t know about all these fancy โ€œfinancial instrumentsโ€ or โ€œmarket dynamicsโ€ or โ€œwhere the clit is.โ€ I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

I couldnโ€™t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

I couldnโ€™t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe Iโ€™m jacked to the mfโ€™ing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MFโ€™ER.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Daily stock prayer

Time for our daily prayer: Our calls, Who art in PLTR, Perfect be Thy Timing. Thy tendies come. Thy expirations be done, on earth as it is in Wall Street. Give us this day our daily Lambos. And forgive us of our puts, as we forgive those who buy puts against us. And lead us not into Debt, but deliver us unto tendies. Amen
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks ๐Ÿ“Š๐Ÿ“ go up ๐Ÿ“ˆ๐Ÿ’ธ, my dick goes too ๐Ÿ†โฌ†๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ. Bullish ๐Ÿ‚ market ๐Ÿฌ makes me hard ๐Ÿฆด๐Ÿ’ฆ. All the countries ๐Ÿณ๏ธ๐Ÿด๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ๐Ÿšฉ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ณ try to recover ๐Ÿ”„ from corona ๐Ÿฆ  so the money ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ธ flows ๐ŸŒฌ into my pocket ๐Ÿ’ณ. Soon ๐Ÿ”œ there will be a crash ๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜– and the bears ๐Ÿป will crawl ๐Ÿšผ out of their holes ๐Ÿ•ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โœ‚๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿฉธ if I donโ€™t โŒ eat โ€™em out ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ˜ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐Ÿ‚โžก๏ธ๐Ÿป and make ๐ŸคŒ๐Ÿผ more money ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ธ and eat some honey ๐Ÿป๐Ÿฏ. When Iโ€™m done โœ… Iโ€™ll throw a party ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿท๐Ÿพ and eat your ass ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and havenโ€™t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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